


BEN + POE = BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

by Writer_Lethogica



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9651755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Lethogica/pseuds/Writer_Lethogica
Summary: I started writing this story, intending it to be the crackiest thing ever, but it ended up having feelings so that's a thing now. I don't even know how this story happened. I made it within a week. I hope you like this strange relationship between Ben Solo and Poe Dameron.





	1. Ben Solo Doesn’t Do Extracurricular Activities!

Ben glowered at the young man above him. Amongst the many students at Mon Mothma Public High School on D’Qar, the one whom Ben abhorred the most amongst them all was the one that stood before him—the “charming” Poe Dameron.

 

“Whatcha doing, Benny?”

 

Ben wasn’t distracted by his smooth yet playful voice. Ben wasn’t tricked by that heart-stopping smile either. Ben knew Poe Dameron, and Poe Dameron wasn’t some harmless doe—he was a vicious fox, as wily as they came. But knowing didn’t mean much when Ben knew no one believed him. And it didn’t stop him from completely freaking out, trying to hide his notebook from the peaking Poe.

 

“N-n-nothing, you fool!” Ben bark, ungracefully slamming the notebook closed.

 

Ben mourned the bent pages in his prized notebook for a moment before he was reminded that the fox was still there.

 

“You’re going to have to show me that at some point, Benny,” Poe said, pointing to the notebook.

 

Ben grimaced, shoving the notebook into his backpack. He waved his hand across Poe’s vision, focusing intensely on the fox.

 

“This is not the notebook you’re looking for.”

 

Poe blinked. Then laughed, patting his Ben’s shoulder with force.

 

“Ha! That’s a good one, Benny!”

 

“Stop calling me Benny,” he said through his teeth, “My name is Ben.”

 

Poe pulled him from his seat, putting his arm around Ben’s and dragging him out the door.

 

“Don’t be like that! We’re childhood friends. Besides, your mom gave me distinct orders to get you into a club.”

 

“A club!? I am a force wielder of terrible strength and vengeance in my heart, I need no _clubs_ or _extracurricular activities_!”

 

Ben flailed, trying to break free of the fox’s grasp, but he knew in his heart that he couldn’t. Ben didn’t remember a time before the terrible fox had started haunting him with his annoying needs and wants for attention. This grip he has—the clutches of the fox were an iron hold, one Ben had never learned to escape.

 

The fox laughed, much to Ben’s chagrin.

 

“You’re so weird, Benny! But seriously, you’re not going to get into any good colleges if you’re not part of a club. Even I’m part of a few of them.”

 

“Well, of course _you_ are! You’re popular and have kind eyes that hide your _evil ways_. No one would suspect your dastardly nature with how pretty you are, they’d all take you in a second!”

 

“Didn’t know you thought I was that pretty. Thanks, man! But you shouldn’t worry too much. Just because you’re weird looking doesn’t mean no one wants you in their club—”

 

“—Hey!—”

 

“—Let’s just check out a few.”

 

Ben resigns to his fate as they walk towards the schedule board in the hall. Ben and Poe stand in front of it, gazing at the list of clubs.

 

“Hey. Don’t you have some place to be,” grumbled Ben, “Flight Club’s today, right? Didn’t it start ten minutes ago?”

 

The fox glanced over at Ben, smiling.

 

“You know my schedule? I’m flattered. But I’m also worried about you. How are we going to get into New Republic U if you don’t have anything on your resume?”

 

Ben turns away from the fox, harrumphing.

 

“I’m not _going_ to college. I’m gonna go to Jedi School and be the best rogue force wielder you’ll ever meet.”

 

“Nonsense. Now, you’re a book guy, right? What do you think about Book Club?”

 

Before Ben could answer, Poe was right back dragging him around the school like a dog on a leash.

 

“Poe! What you doing dragging around Mr. Pouty Face?”

 

Kaydel Ko Connix was a fine young woman with golden hair that’d run for miles if it wasn’t up in its usual buns. She was as flashy as she was confident, the kind of woman who attracts people to her side. Two other girls, a Zeltron beauty by the name of Lorica Demaris and the more serious and stoic Greer Sonnel, tagged closely behind her.

 

Ben glanced warily at Poe’s direction, ready to temper his response. He saw that goofy smile on the fox. He knew the fox was at his own wily ways, easily convincing any that his actions were merely out of the kindness of his heart.

 

“Ah, don’t be like that! Benny’s cool!”

 

Even Greer couldn’t stop herself from laughing at such a falsehood.

 

“You’re so _weird_ , Poe! Also, practice started _ages_ ago, you should be there. Don’t skip because you want to mess with short, pale, and gloomy.”

 

“She’s right,” Greer mumbled solemnly, “You’re the best pilot we got. If we’re going to beat Tarkin Prep, we really need you to come to every practice.”

 

Poe waves them off, beginning to run with Ben lagging behind in his grip.

 

“Eh, we’ll do fine! It’s one practice. Give me a break! Besides, I’m with a Jedi, I’m sure the force is willing this as we speak.”

 

The girls disappear as they turn a corner, their noises of disappointment still wafting through the air.

 

“Hey, Poe, you really sure you can do all this for me? Isn’t it really important for you guys to beat Tarkin Prep? Haven’t they won Flight Simulator Regionals for like three years in a row?”

 

And then there was that grin of his. It made Ben feel gross. It felt like home. Ben hated it.

 

“You too? One day’s not going to magically make me inept at flying. Now, Book Club?” he said, pointing to a classroom to their left.

 

Ben sighed.

 

“Whatever. Do I have much of a choice?”


	2. Ben Solo Doesn’t Want to Hang Out with You During Lunch!

Ben Solo is rarely alone. Son of two generals of the Rebellion, child of the force with hope to aid in the revitalization of the Jedi way, Ben wasn’t exactly a child that people could just let play outside without ten bodyguards in tow. Such was his lot in life. So when he was able to convince his mother that he didn’t need protection at school, he was relieved to be able to be alone for once in his life.

 

Ben treasured his brief instances of alone time in Mon Mothma Public High School. That was why he dreaded the sight of the treacherous fox heading towards him with that stupid pleasant disposition of his.

 

“Benny!” called Poe, slamming his hands on Ben’s desk, “Come eat with me and the gang!”

 

Ben flinched at the sound of hand to desk. He wasn’t prepared for such an attack from that devious fox.

 

“With you? No way. Leave me out of your stupid lunch gatherings,” grumbled Ben, slinking into his chair.

 

“See? What did I tell you, Poe? Weirdo wouldn’t want to eat with us if his life depended on it.”

 

The Abednedo looked down at Ben in that full-of-himself way that annoyed Ben to his core.

 

Ello Asty had transferred to their school district during their times at Pamlo Middle School and had been a thorn in Ben’s side ever since. He had become fast friends with Poe and fast enemies with Ben. Ben knew Ello wasn’t a fan, and it wasn’t like Ben would ever want to spend time with him either.

 

“Really? I was so sure if Poe asked, he would. Bummer. I really wanted to pick his brain about _the_ Luke Skywalker.”

 

Jess Testor Pava was an entirely different problem all together.

 

Cool and matter-of-fact, Ben wouldn’t regularly have a problem with such a likeable gal. However, Jess, like many people in the school, had a fondness towards his family. She was a megafan of his uncle’s and would do anything in her power to get any information on Luke from Ben. Safe to say, she wasn’t someone he really wanted to spend lunch with either.

 

“Leave him be, Jess. Your crush with his uncle bothers everyone.”

 

The last of Poe’s constant companions, Snap Wexley was the one that Ben hated least. Snap, like Ben himself, was a child of war heroes. He wasn’t a fan of the attention that came with it either. He was an aloof guy, who had been a rebel rouser back when he was younger. About a year ago, he stopped his delinquent ways and began to hang out with Poe.

 

“I don’t have a _crush_! I just want to know everything about him, is all.”

 

Ben felt a shiver run down his spine. If he were a different man, perhaps Jess would act normal. But he was _that man’s_ nephew. And she was his biggest fan.

 

“Yeah. No. Solid no. I don’t want anything to do with your lunch, Poe. Just leave me be.”

 

Poe wrapped his arm around Ben’s shoulders, pulling his head into a deathlock.

 

“We haven’t eaten lunch together in forever! Since, what? Middle School? Eat with us!”

 

Poe pulls Ben to his feet, dragging him out of the classroom, his friends flanking him as if taking someone against their will is a normal thing to do.

 

“Hey! Wait! I don’t even have my lunch on me!”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I brought lunch for you,” he said, pushing the doors open to reveal a lunchroom filled with eyes and ears, “It’s like, yesterday, I was eating lunch with my grandfather when he reminded me of when you used to make my lunches in elementary school. I know it’s a bit late, but I thought I’d make at least one of those up for you.”

 

Ben felt his face grow red as Poe’s gang stared at him.

 

“You cook?” Ello asked pointedly.

 

“Yeah, I cook! So what?” Ben blurted, sitting stiff next to the group, “Never said I couldn’t.”

 

Poe slides an elaborate lunch Ben’s way. Ben was hungry. But was he hungry enough to tempt fate?

 

“Aren’t everyone in your family terrible cooks, Poe?” Ben asked warily.

 

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I made it filled with care.”

 

The blood drains from Ben’s face.

 

“Did you use any recipes?”

 

“I made it following the instructions in my heart. I’m sure it’s basically the same thing as following a recipe.”

 

Jess laughs, taking out a holorecorder.

 

“Oh my force, you’re going to kill Luke Skywalker’s nephew. I gotta get this on tape!”

 

Ben glumly gazed at the food, weighing his options. He could eat this food. And then die of food poisoning. He could try to flee, but he’d run the gambit of just being caught by Poe again. He could just not eat the food, but then he’d be hungry for the rest of the day. Ben wished Poe didn’t try to be so “nice” to him so much, the sly fox.

 

“I only made food for you because your family couldn’t cook. I never asked you to pay me back or anything, I didn’t expect that.”

 

“What can I say? I’m a very unexpected guy. I like repaying kindness too. So just eat already.”

 

Ben grimaced at that remark. He’d get an even worse reputation if he callously rejects Poe’s offering. Ben grabs a fork.

 

“If I die, it’s your fault,” grumbled Poe, stuffing a chunk in his mouth.


	3. Ben Solo Doesn’t Camp!

“CAMPING, YEAH!” Poe yelled right next to his ear, “DON’T YOU JUST LOVE CAMPING?”

 

Ben didn’t understand why he had to go on this school trip. He didn’t understand _why_ the school even thought this was a trip worth it’s time. A two-day trip to “boost morale and allow students to bond through trust exercises”? It sounded like a waste of time when Ben first heard about it, and it felt like a waste of time then.

 

He didn’t even understand why his mom signed the forms for this trip. Usually, she’d be too worried about potential assassination threats to let him go on some school trip, but apparently no assassins like camping. Ben couldn’t blame them.

 

“What about you keep those feel good vibes to your side,” grumbled Ben, squishing next to the window.

 

Ben didn’t even get why Poe chose to sit next to him on the ride to the galactic park. Poe was popular, friends with the whole grade. Ben would’ve been fine sitting alone on the ride to the worst vacation he was sure he’d ever have.

 

“Oh, you don’t have to be shy! I remember you having fun when we snuck out and played around in the forests of Yavin 4.”

 

Ben didn’t remember much of those days. He remembered that his mother was based there for a time. He remembered how Poe’s grandfather let him run wild during the summer. Ben knew he snuck out a few times with Poe during those summers and played in the woods, but the only time he remembered was one where an bounty hunter almost killed both he and Poe. Ben wasn’t a fan of the outdoors after that.

 

The once multi-troop transport turned public school shuttle came to a clunky stop, giving Ben a good case of whiplash.

 

Poe leaned over Ben to gaze out the window in amazement. Most galactic parks were wondrous forests, whether they be deciduous, coniferous, taiga, or tundra. Their school thought some dessert park on the edges of Tatooine would be the best choice for their students. Ben didn’t know anyone who’d rather a desert, but the way Poe ogled the place, it was as if they came to some fiery wonderland.

 

“Can you not stick your chest in my face?” grumbled Ben, falling deeper into the old cushions of his chair, “Or better yet, can you and your chest find a different window to look through?”

 

Ben felt rattled by movement from behind, a head popping above him. Lorica grinned down at him, all teeth and ready to attack with words.

 

“You’re so mean, Gloomy Guy!” she cackled.

 

Poe moved back to his seat, pouting.

 

“She’s right! You’re so mean, Benny,” he said with a joke crocodile tear.

 

Ben folded his arms, turning away from the sad man.

 

“Just leave me alone.”

 

“Can’t do that just yet. Hey! Looks like we’re getting off!” Poe said, pulling Ben up as they began to exit the vehicle.

 

Ben flinched as someone grabbed his shoulder from behind. A head leaned into his view. Jess.

 

“This is the place where Luke Skywalker was born, right? You should know—he was born here, right?” Jess asked giddily.

 

Ben glowered at her.

 

“Just look it up. All his history should be in the school database.”

 

“But we have no service at all out here in the boonies! You gotta tell me! I got a bet with Kaydel.”

 

Ben turned away from Jess, wishing the line off the bus would go quicker. He wasn’t going to be the Luke Skywalker Encyclopedia for anyone. He barely saw his uncle and, honestly, he never particularly wanted to be around him. Luke was a distant man who felt too godly to be real. Ben hated that.

 

“I don’t think he was born here, but I believe he grew up here,” responded Poe.

 

Ben glanced up at Poe for a moment. Ben saw an uncharacteristic ‘I’m sorry about this’ look on his face. That’s another reason he hated stupid questions about his uncle. Poe assumes he always needs help. And Ben doesn’t need anyone’s help.

 

“Ah, no fair, Poe!” Kaydel shouted from a distance behind, “It doesn’t count if Skywalker’s nephew doesn’t answer!”

 

Poe turned to behind them.

 

“Well, I’m your resident Skywalker Historian from here on out, okay?” he called back to her.

 

Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. He hated Poe Dameron the most when he became an Atlas, taking the responsibilities of others on his shoulders. Ben grabbed his arm and began to push through the line forcefully.

 

“No one’s a Skywalker Historian!” shouted Ben, almost off the bus, “Get over your weird obsession over old monk men!”

 

Ben hopped off the bus, noticing Poe laughing. Ben glared at Poe.

 

“ _What_?”

 

Poe shook his head.

 

“You’re never that assertive. That was surprising.”

 

Ben immediately let go of Poe’s arm. Ben Solo really did hate Poe Dameron. So much.

 

“Ugh. No one should be that obsessed with some weirdo like Uncle Luke. You shouldn’t have to carry such a stupid burden. No one should. It’s dumb. Like this trip.”

 

“I wouldn’t say this trip is that dumb. We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

 

“I think we have different definitions of ‘fun’, Poe.”

 

Before Poe could respond, Ms. Kalonia hopped off the shuttle.

 

“Students! Let’s start with setting up the campsite! PZ-4CO will be helping distribute the tents, so please find your way to her with your tent groups!”

 

Ben had requested if he could have a tent alone. His request had been denied. Poe had placed him in a tent group with Ello, Snap, and himself. Ben wasn’t exactly happy about the arrangement.

 

Poe and Ben reconvened with Ello and Snap in the line for tents that had bubbled up. Ello didn’t seem pleased about the arrangement as well.

 

“Did you really have to pick Gloomy Guy here for our fourth?” complained Ello, grabbing a tent kit, “We could have had Theo Meltsa or Joph Seastriker, but you had to open your mouth and yell over to _Benny_.”

 

“Don’t. Call. Me. _Benny_ ,” Ben said through gritted teeth.

 

Snap took the tent kit from Ello.

 

“Let me just take that before you start throwing things,” said Snap, moving swiftly ahead of the group, “I’d like to have a place to sleep tonight.”

 

Poe put his arms around Ello and Ben, placing himself in the line of fire.

 

“Oh force, what’s up with you two? We’re in a time of peace. Be peaceful. Make a tent together. Have some fun for once.”

 

“I? I have fun. That scruffy-looking nerf-herder doesn’t know fun if it ate him whole.”

 

A rage boiled over in Ben’s being that could not be satiated with mere words.

 

“I’ll show you _fun_ , you laserbrain! You will _rue_ the day you didn’t think I knew what fun is!” Ben blabbered, stomping over to the tent Snap had started, “Need any help, Snap!? Because I’m here for _all_ the fun!”

 

Snap didn’t look impressed.

 

“I…don’t trust you with setting up. Just hand me things.”

 

“Okay. That’s _fun_. Look at me! Having all this _fun_ setting up the tent, I’m such a _fun_ guy! Ha!”

 

Ben swiftly handed parts to Snap as Poe and Ello joined the set up process. Soon enough, the tent was set.

 

“What _fun_ that was! What’s next on our _fun_ camping trip? Trust falls? I’ll take Ello. Let’s see how _fun_ falling is for you!”

 

Poe laughed.

 

“No, silly. Ms. Kalonia said we’re going on a hike. We’re actually getting a bit late, so we better head over to her.”

 

Hiking in sand felt like a punishment. His mother must be punishing him for something, allowing him to go on such a trip.

 

“Hey look!” whispered Poe, pointing to the distance, “Isn’t that a singular of bladeback boars?”

 

Ben wasn’t sure how he felt when he saw Poe’s face lit up. It made him feel uncomfortable, but with no one really bothering them during this hike, Ben supposed Poe wasn’t the worst ‘keep an eye on them and don’t let them die’ buddy.

 

Ben turned his gaze to where Poe pointed, and sure enough, there was a group of boars with a drift of piglets. They were close enough to see the little piglets shuffling around on chubby little legs. Ben couldn’t help himself. A small smile grew on his face. They were adorable.

 

“Nature, man!” Poe said, “It’s the best!”

 

Ben shrugged.

 

“It’s not the worst.”

 

After dinner, Ms. Kalonia had asked the students to come together in an open space and lay on their backs. Ben wasn’t a fan. He could feel sand creeping into his clothes, despite his best efforts.

 

“Why are we even doing? Can’t I just go to bed or something?” grumbled Ben.

 

“Benny, it’s, like, eight p.m.”

 

“So? I like going to be early.”

 

Poe laughed.

 

“You’re such an old man.”

 

“Sh-shut it! I need my full ten hours. Twelve, if I’m lucky.”

 

With everyone settled down, Ms. Kalonia began to turn off all the lights nearby. Ben could hear Ms. Kalonia droning about something, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered compared to that view. Ben gazed, awestruck, feeling small in the world. A painting of stars laid before him and all he could do was gape at it.

 

“It’s so beautiful.”

 

Poe’s voice was as silent as a breeze. Barely there against that immensity. All Ben could do was make noises of acknowledgement.

 

“Someday…I’m going to travel it all. I’m going to be a great x-wing pilot, just like my mom.”

 

And for a moment, Ben understood why Poe loved flying so much.

 

Ben sat at the edge of the campsite, glad he was able to get some alone time with himself and his notebook.

 

“There you were!”

 

Ben wasn’t exactly happy for the intrusion, but if it had to be anyone, he guessed Poe wasn’t at the top of his “don’t talk to me as I recharge” list.

 

“Here I am.”

 

Poe settled down next to him. Ben quickly shut his notebook, holding it tightly to his chest as if his life depended on it. Poe pouted.

 

“You’re no fun. I’m gonna read what’s in it someday, I swear.”

 

“Over my dead body!” hissed Ben.

 

Poe grinned.

 

“This feels nostalgic. Doing all of this. It’s like those summer days back on Yavin 4.”

 

If Ben even had a good mood, it dissipated quickly. Ben glared at Poe.

 

“Don’t you even _remember_ what happened the last time we went hiking in the forest on Yavin 4?”

 

Poe shrugged.

 

“I don’t know. I think we went fishing, right?”

 

Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. He hated how Poe Dameron could make his vision fog, making him look weak and stupid.

 

“Unlike you, I remember. We were coming back home after fishing and we were found by a bounty hunter.”

 

Ben could never forget that bounty hunter. Her black and white suit, her painted eyebrows. How she held a gun to Poe’s head.

 

“You…when she grabbed you as a hostage, you pretended you were _me_ and told Poe Dameron to run.”

 

Ben blinked, feeling dampness on his cheeks. Poe brushed them with his finger. Through foggy vision, Ben could tell Poe’s face had become serious.

 

“But you didn’t run. You stupidly, unconsciously, used your force abilities to throw her into a tree. You gave us both a chance to escape. And for that, I’m forever grateful.”

 

“You’re a real idiot, you know that?” Ben said through bleary eyes.

 

Ben felt an arm pulling him in. He could feel Poe’s chest move up and down as he breathed.

 

“Yeah, I know,” Poe said.

 

Ben hated that stupid chest.


	4. Ben Solo Won’t Participate in Field Day!

“I didn’t agree to this!” Ben shouted, having the urge to rip all the clothes forced on him off, “I didn’t agree to any of this!”

 

Ben Solo had thought he’d just skip class today. He was going to call sick. Usually, he could get away with it every once and a while. It’s not like his parents usually had the time to figure out whether he was actually sick.

 

He had not expected Poe to talk his mom up about Field Day. He didn’t think he’d have to actually go. But here he is. In a cheerleading outfit. Completely and unequivocally embarrassed.

 

“I mean, you didn’t volunteer for any of the competitions, so I suggested that you could be part of the cheer team if you weren’t going to compete.”

 

“ _Why would you do this to me_?”

 

Poe shrugged.

 

“I thought it’d be fun, Benny. Besides, I need someone to cheer me on.”

 

Ben groaned.

 

“Everyone cheers for you. You’re popular. I could be sleeping in today. Why do I even have to wear this?”

 

“Skirts are breezy. I’m kind of jealous, they always feel nice.”

 

“ _Then you wear it_.”

 

Poe shook his head.

 

“Nah, I can’t wear that during Flight Simulator. Besides, they didn’t get any my size either.”

 

“ _I’d rather be in the nude_.”

 

Poe laughed.

 

“While that sounds fun, I can’t help but think that that’s kind of illegal, what with being in a public space and all.”

 

“You’re going to pay for this. I will ruin you.”

 

Ben felt the wind knocked out of him as someone jumped onto his back like a spider monkey. He barely kept himself standing as he tried to catch his breath.

 

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that, Gloomy Guy! We got cheering to do! People are expecting a lot from us, you know?”

 

Ben glared at Kaydel.

 

“Get off me,” Ben said, ragged.

 

“No can do. I’m hurt, remember?” she said, waving her sprained ankle in his peripheral vision, “Carry me everywhere.”

 

Her arms tightened around him. Ben looked to Poe for sympathy.

 

“ _Kill me_.”

 

Poe laughed.

 

“Oh, Benny, you’re so funny! See you later. Cheer me on, okay?”

 

Poe ran off to meet up with the rest of their year’s flight team. Ben wasn’t sure if he had hated Poe more than he did then. Kaydel’s weight pressed onto his thin frame like a twig trying to keep a rock in place. Kaydel wasn’t a big girl, but Ben wasn’t a strong man either.

 

“H-heavy,” Ben said as Kaydel squeezed tighter on his neck. He wobbled, his air supply restricted as he tumbled down to the ground with Kaydel on top.

 

“Boooooooo, you’re no fun,” yelled Kaydel in disappointment, hopping over to her crutches.

 

Ben sighed.

 

“Well, _sorry_. It’s not like I said I could carry someone.”

 

Ben stood up, patting the dirt off of his knees. He heard someone calling for all the participants for the Flight Similator competition to head to their cockpits. He saw students double checking the holoprojectors on the field.

 

Ben wondered if Poe had already found his way to his cockpit. Ben wondered if he should have at least wished him good luck. Even if Ben didn’t care about the Field Day, he would rather his year win rather than the others, based solely on his pride. Maybe he should have wished Poe good luck.

 

The rules of Flight Simulator Competitions were pretty simple. They were war games. There were two ways to win: 1) Take down enough of the enemy’s x-wings or TIE fighters to take over their base or 2) shoot down every single x-wing or TIE fighter on the other team. Luke Skywalker himself had suggested the game for schools. It made Ben wonder if his uncle and others were just that paranoid.

 

Being Second Years, it was only natural that seniority would trump and they would have to be the TIE fighters. Second years versus Fourth years. Ben wondered if Poe really could beat the seniors on his team at a game they’ve been playing for longer.

 

“Hey! What you doing, standing around with that sullen look and crossed arms? We gotta cheer them on!” shouted Lorica, starting the squad off with a simple cheer they had probably practiced while he dodged Field Day practice.

 

Ben cared little of the cheer, choosing to bring his attention to the holograms of the fight playing above them. War games. They gave him mixed feelings. He felt like he was supposed to hate them, but all he wondered was if he could win if he played them himself. Would it be cheating if he used the force? Who was Ben kidding, though? There was no cheating in war. Just upper hands and sly tactics.

 

Ben immediately knew which TIE fighter was Poe just by piloting skill alone. It was almost embarrassing seeing all the other students try to keep up with Poe. That was, until one particular x-wing pilot flew into view.

 

Ben felt himself tense. Poe and this mysterious upper classmen were tied up in the most gripping dogfight he’d seen, each barely dodging the attacks of the other. It pissed Ben off.

 

“H-hey!” Ben yelled, “I thought you were the Ace Pilot on the Flight Team! Act like it, Poe!”

 

Ben couldn’t take his eyes off the fight, even as the other team members were slowly gaining a victory over their seniors. Finally, Poe shot the x-wing at an awkward angle, the mysterious x-wing exploding.

 

“Yeah!” Ben exclaimed without thinking, jumping in excitement.

 

He quickly reeling himself in, immediately regretting the outburst as he could feel the eyes of others on the back of his head. He stormed out of the area.

 

“This day’s so dumb. I’m going home early,” grumbled Ben through a hot face.


	5. Ben Solo is Not a Fan of Dances!

If Ben Solo had an irrational hatred towards anything, it would probably be school dances. He had never been a good dancer. He never understood why the school would waste valuable money on them. It all seemed like the worst idea. Especially when it came to dances like this one. A Sadie Hawkins Dance.

 

“Benny…why are you tearing that poster for the dance to shreds?”

 

Ben flinched, not expecting the devilish fox himself to pop up behind him.

 

“What about you stop sneaking up on me like a creep!”

 

Ben threw the shreds of paper at the fox’s face.

 

“Just leave me be, okay!”

 

Ben stormed off, feeling eyes on him. He wished that they’d leave him alone. It wasn’t his fault that Poe Dameron was super popular and handsome and charming to people who didn’t know his true evil ways. He wasn’t the one trying to get riled up by Poe. If Poe just left him alone, he’d have a more peaceful high school experience with less human contact.

 

Ben saw a hand open the classroom door for him. Ben glanced up. Anger boiled through him.

 

“Don’t open doors for me, you fox!” hissed Ben, fuming as he stomped over to his desk.

 

“Fox? That’s a weird choice.”

 

“You’re as sly as one, that’s for sure!” Ben said, “Always acting nice, hiding away your _true evil ways_.”

 

“Evil ways?”

 

“I know they can’t see past your stepford smile, but I can, and behind it is an _abysmal miasma of darkness_.”

 

“That’s…one creative imagination of yours, Benny,” Poe said, leaning onto Ben’s desk, “But this doesn’t really help me figure out why you’re so against dances. Your always like this around this time of year.”

 

“Do I even need a reason to hate dances? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Why are you always so cheery around this time of year? How can you even like these dances?”

 

Ben hated to admit it, but sometimes (just sometimes), it was interesting to watch Poe think. Each thought was written all over his face, as if it were a chore to think. Ben wondered why he even tried to do such a task if he had to work so hard to do it.

 

“Well…I guess it’s always nice to wear something formal for once. I’m not a very good dancer, but it’s fun to dance with friends…it’s always fun poking at you too, you have the weirdest faces when you’re embarrassed.”

 

Ben glared at Poe.

 

“Don’t make me being uncomfortable one of the reasons you like dances. Besides, I’m definitely not going to this one this year.”

 

Ben did not understand why Poe looked so confused.

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

Ben slumped into his chair.

 

“Oh please. Like some popular punk like you would understand my struggles.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

It was like pulling teeth. Did Poe truly want to make Ben spell it out for him? Ben never thought Poe was so cruel.

 

“It’s a Sadie Hawkins dance. Girls ask out guys. Going stag to something like that is a death sentence socially, I might as well ignore the whole thing until it’s over.”

 

Ben growled as he felt Poe ruffle his hair like a depressed dog.

 

“Don’t worry too much. I’m sure there’s some blind girl out there who wouldn’t mind asking someone as weird looking as you.”

 

The room filling with harsh laughter, Ben whacked Poe’s hand away.

 

“I don’t care! I’m fine not going! Leave me be!”

 

Poe sighed.

 

“If you’re really that bothered, we can just go together.”

 

Ben’s heart stopped.

 

“No. No no no. I don’t need that attention, t-t-take that back!”

 

“Nope. Just decided. We’re going stag together! It’s gonna be fun.”

 

Ben felt his head hit the desk with a clunk.

 

“Force, kill me now.”

 

“We’ll talk about times and stuff. Maybe coordinate outfits. That’d be fun, right?”

 

Ben could feel all the stares. He felt his face burn.

 

“Just kill me now.”

 

Ben couldn’t believe he agreed to this. Well, he really didn’t, but he couldn’t believe his mother agreed to this and he couldn’t believe his mother wrangled him into this getup. He hated this stupid suit. He hated that they matched.

 

“This really was a cute idea! Good one, Poe.”

 

General Leia Organa was not much of a “helicopter parent”. If one were to ask Ben, he would say that she wasn’t much of a “parent” to begin with. Neither her nor Han were exactly looking after Ben, what with Leia treating her entire army as her children and Han just…disappearing to whatever part of the universe he felt like doing his shady deals in. Suffice to say, this was the most Ben has seen of his mother in the past three months.

 

“This is all you do now. Go with whatever Poe wants to do with me. Are you even my mother?”

 

“Of course I am! I should know, you came out of me.”

 

“Please. Please don’t talk about that. I already want to throw up as is.”

 

Leia rolled her eyes.

 

“Like father like son, eh? Suck it up and deal. You’re going to have fun.”

 

“Fun?”

 

“Go be a normal teenage boy and have fun! It’s enough that you throw yourself into your room and listen to all those weird bands and scribble in that notebook of yours. Going will Poe to this dance will help you socialize with your peers!”

 

“I hate my peers!”

 

“Everyone hates their peers! Just do it!” Leia said, throwing Ben out, “Now have fun, you scruffy-looking nerf-herder!”

 

Leia slammed the door behind Ben, locking the door.

 

“You never cared about me socializing until now! Stupid War Hero General!” groaned, wobbling to his feet.

 

His whole body hurt everywhere. He didn’t get why his mom was so obstinate about things like “friendship” and “happiness”. All Ben needed was his notebook and some time alone.

 

“This is so dumb. I just want to go back in my room and go to bed,” whined Ben.

 

“Cheer up, Benny. You’re going to have a great time at this dance.”

 

Ben turned his rage towards the idiot who got him into this whole mess in the first place.

 

“You say that, but I know all too well that when we get there you’re just going to get all the attention and I’m just going to be stuck on the wall for hours with nothing to say and people awkwardly glancing at me and—ugh, I didn’t want to go to the dance.”

 

“Don’t worry, Benny. I won’t do that to you.”

 

Ben has a knack of knowing how things will turn out. Such is the Cassandra truth Ben always possessed, gazing at the crowded Poe as he merely leaned onto the wall on the sidelines. He wasn’t a fan of this.

 

“Hey! Benny!”

 

Ben flinched. He turned his gaze back to the popular fox, seeing him gesture for Ben to come over. Ben froze. This wasn’t what he wanted. He was fine just being miserable. This felt somehow worse. He didn’t like how everyone was watching him.

 

Poe rolled his eyes, pushing through the dance floor. Ben felt nervous when Poe extended his arm to the wall. Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. Maybe what Ben Solo hated most about Poe Dameron is the fact that he’s somehow so tall compared to him.

 

“One day, I’m going to be taller than you,” grumbled Ben through his teeth, “I’m going to be 6’2” and I’ll tower over you.”

 

“What?” Poe shouted, “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear you!”

 

“Why are you even talking to me!? You got friends, go hang out with them!”

 

Poe grabbed Ben’s arm.

 

“You’re my friend too! Let’s dance with everyone!”

 

Despite some whimpering against it, Ben found himself squished in between fifty sweaty, gross teenagers that Ben barely wanted to be a yard away from. It felt strange to be in such a hotpot of hormone-filled bodies, he felt like he was going into shock.

 

For a moment, though, there was some strange distraction. The lights, the bodies, they were a strange back up to the worst dancing Ben had ever set his eyes on.

 

It was like some strange mating ritual, really. The first Ben saw was from across the room, a woman who could only be an upperclassmen. Her blonde hair was flawless and her white dress contrasted yet complimented her tan skin. She danced towards the dance floor like a spastic kid having a seizure.

 

What was more embarrassing was Poe amping up his already poor dance moves until his arms were basically a flailing cyclone of doom, mowing innocent passerby down as he and the mysterious woman converged in the middle of the dance floor. It looked as if they were either going to murder each other or themselves, with the world breaking moves could have become the next death star. They were obviously into each other.

 

Ben hated dances.


	6. Ben Solo Doesn’t Want to Know About Your Girlfriend!

There were many things that Ben Solo tended to avoid. Crowds of people. Math Class. Sports. Yet, despite his best tries, Ben wasn’t able to avoid what he wanted to avoid the most—a devious fox apparently “in love”.

 

“Oh my force, I love her so much.”

 

Ben felt a heavy weight falling onto his back. Lanky arms fell from his shoulders like the sides of a scarf.

 

“So…h-heavy…”

 

“She’s just so nice and beautiful and every time I look into her eyes, it’s like they’re pools of love and happiness.”

 

Ben’s legs were starting to wobble. Poe’s voice was thick with a gross amount of puppy love. Ben was not strong enough for any of this.

 

“Ugh, I don’t care, just get off of me!” Ben shouted, shoving Poe off of him.

 

“You’re so mean, Benny. I open up to you about my lovely, wonderful, spectacular Karé Kun and all you do is push me away.”

 

“I push you away because you were going to squish me. Plus, you're gross. Your feelings are gross. Leave me out of your gross discussions about your gross feelings.”

 

“Ben’s right, you know? You can’t just gush about me ever single second of the day, it’s super weird, Poe.”

 

Ben jumped. He didn’t even hear Karé come over.

 

Karé Kun was a senior and the co-captain of the Flight Team. She was calm, cool, and calculated—everything that Poe was not. Ben was honestly surprised that she had any feelings for him at all. She generally didn’t act like it. She was also inherently too cool to even pay attention to a goof like Poe Dameron in most instances. Ben didn’t get how they were even a couple.

 

“See? She agrees with me!” said Ben, grinning.

 

“Hey Ben, did you grow again? You’ve seemed to be growing a lot these days, Kiddo,” Karé said, grinning as she pet his head.

 

Ben moved away from her, glowering.

 

“Stop treating me like I’m a kid, you weirdo,” grumbled Ben, hoping to find a way to escape.

 

Despite only being about a year younger than Poe, Ben could see it in her eyes, she treated him like a five year old. Ben wasn’t quite sure why, but Karé had a knack of catching him off guard in the weirdest ways.

 

“Oh, don’t be like that! You used to be so cute! You know, I used to babysit you when you were little.”

 

Ben glared, keeping a distance between Karé and himself.

 

“I remember helping you take baths and those couple of times you peed yourself. You were such a cute kid.”

 

“That’s it, no more niceties for you! You are now on my _dislike list_!”

 

Karé raised an eyebrow.

 

“Dislike list? I thought you hated everyone.”

 

“I hate everyone and everything, but there are some I hate more. You’re part of that few. You and that idiot over there. So stop messing with me, you hear!?”

 

Karé didn’t look impressed. But Ben didn’t care. Ben totally didn’t care that no one ever took him seriously. Nope. He wasn’t totally pissed at her and her weird ways. Just like the fox. Sly and cunning in such a sneaky way. Trying to make him feel things. Making him feel weird about her hanging out with him. Ben, not Poe. Karé was making him weird.

 

Ben remembered a time in which no one ever wanted to talk to him at school. He would be able to go to the roof in peace. He could sit at his desk without a “hello” or “goodbye”. That time, it seemed, had passed.

 

“Hey Gloomy Guy!”

 

Ben tried to ignore it with all his might. Someone was poking his head.

 

“Gloomy Guy!”

 

Ben scrunched his face, hating the pokes. Ben slapped the hand away, glaring up. Kaydel looked down at Ben as if he were a slug, a subhuman of some sort. Her best friends flanked her sides.

 

“Where’s Poe?”

 

Ben didn’t get why people kept asking him about Poe all the time those days. He never asked to be Poe’s keeper.

 

“Shouldn’t he be in the classroom?”

 

Ben looked around. Ben only knew two times in which Poe didn’t come to class in his fifteen years of knowing the man: when he got seriously sick and when his mother died.

 

“I haven’t seen him since morning break. And he’s supposed to let me see his homework for physics class. We only got ten minutes left now.”

 

“You know Poe sucks at physics, right?”

 

“Can I see your homework?”

 

Ben sighed, handing her his homework.

 

“Can you turn my homework in for me if I don’t get back in time?”

 

Ben stood up, putting his uniform jacket on. He contemplated the spots he knew Poe usually hung out.

 

“Uh…I guess, but like…you don’t miss classes you like, Ben, where you going?”

 

“To see where that idiot went. UGH. I didn’t want to _care_ about this!”

 

Ben wouldn’t have had to have cared if he wasn’t missing school. Out of character actions aren’t _fair_ , that’s just basic science.

 

Ben Solo knew the halls of Mon Mothma Public High School more than anyone in this school. Probably because he was mandatorily forced to hang out there after school during middle school due to the fact that the security was of a higher grade at Mothma. For most of his middle school years, he had wandered through these sprawling halls, learning all its hidden corners.

 

Ben, against his better judgment, rushed Karé, pushing her down in the process.

 

“ _You_!” Ben yelled in her face, “Where’d you put Poe, you Mistress of Misconduct!?”

 

Karé looked more amused by Ben’s outburst than afraid, unlike the other teens around them. It didn’t feel right.

 

“You’re asking me?”

 

Ben loosened his grip on her.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be asking you?”

 

“We’re not going out anymore. I realized it was super weird to date the best friend of the person I used to babysit and decided against it.”

 

“ _He’s not my best friend, shut up_!” Ben groaned, smooshing Karé’s face to the ground, “ _I’m not doing this because I’m angry at what you did, I just have an angry disposition_!”

 

Ben stumbled off Karé, sprinting down the halls, his voice cracking as he shouted, “Poe!? Poe Dameron, you do not get to make me feel feelings! Where in the force are you!?”

 

Ben wasn’t sure what this meant. Poe had dated people. Ben was pretty sure Poe had dated people. He wouldn’t start missing school because of a broken heart? Had he become a delinquent? Had he become a shady gray morality man like Ben’s father, never being around, always being bailed out by his mother—Ben didn’t want to bail _anyone_ out of jail!

 

Ben flung the door of the roof open and found no one. Ben ran down the now empty halls, whisper-screaming, “You don’t disappear on me, Poe, I disappear on you! Poe! Poe Dameron, make yourself visible!”

 

Ben stumble-sprinted out the side doors of the building, finding himself on the wrong side. Ben took a breather, not used to all this exercise.

 

“I’m going…t-to kill you…when I find you…you…you bantha fodder!”

 

Ben began to wobble-run now, despite his whole body telling him to not. He pathetically ran towards the hills, right on the edges of the fields.

 

Ben remembered finding Poe there one day during freshman year as he was wandering the school campus. Poe had said he liked it there. It was peaceful. He went there sometimes to think. When Ben had responded “You think?”, Poe had laughed at Ben mocking him. Ben didn’t understand.

 

Ben found Poe. Staring at the skies. Completely fine. Even tranquil.

 

Ben through a shoe at Poe.

 

“You…you… _you_! UGH!”

 

“Benny?”

 

Ben could feel his face reddening, his rage at all time highs.

 

“I can’t believe I was _worried_ , this is so _stupid_ —you’re stupid! Get out of my life!”

 

Poe rubbed his face where the shoe hit, raising his hands in surrender.

 

“Uh—Benny?”

 

Ben takes off his other shoe.

 

“Stop making me worried about you, you son of a bantha!”

 

Vision blurred as he through his other shoe, probably missing Poe by a yard. Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. It felt like he had to remind himself this fact sometimes.

 

“You didn’t come to class…I thought something bad happened.”

 

“I’ve skipped class before.”

 

Ben glared at Poe, unable to see him through the water.

 

“Okay, so I don’t skip class.”

 

Ben wasn’t sure, but he thought Poe might have stood up.

 

“I…I started out depressed. I did like Karé, but I kept thinking about it and…she might have been right? Dating your best friend’s old babysitter is really weird…I get what she was thinking.”

 

Ben closed his eyes. He didn’t want to look at the idiot.

 

“Y-you’re not my best friend.”

 

Ben felt arms around him. He was being hugged. He squirmed a bit. Ben Solo still hated Poe Dameron. He felt a chin rest above his head.

 

“I know.”


	7. Ben Solo Won’t Study For You!

While Ben Solo looks strangely like neither of his parents, Ben has always been more like his mother than his father. That might have been due to the fact that his mother actually took some time to see him every couple of months, but that’s neither here nor there. One of the few things Ben had in common with his mother were his glares, and as they exchanged glares, he could just tell Poe noticed this.

 

“I don’t have time for this, _Mother_.”

 

He crossed his arms.

 

“Oh, but you do though. I saw your mock tests that you had the teachers make for you,” Leia said, flipping out the mock tests, “You won’t die from helping out poor Poe here.”

 

Ben gasped.

 

“ _You went through my Good Grades Chest_! _How could you_!?”

 

Poe tried to hold in a laugh.

 

“A…Good Grades Chest?”

 

“Where else would you keep all your color-coded, date-organized grades?” asked Leia and Ben at the same time.

 

Poe gave them a beat.

 

“Yeah, this is why I need your help, Ben.”

 

“Look at that sad, handsome face, Ben!” Leia said, squishing Poe’s cheeks together with her hands, “He’s all smooshy and adorable and unprepared for the world! Help him.”

 

She kept messing with Poe’s face.

 

“You know you want to. Can you say no to this hunk of meat?”

 

“General Organa, you’re making me a bit uncomfortable,” garbled Poe through the smoosh.

 

Ben grabbed her arms and pulled them away. She moved them back. After a few more tussles, Ben gave in.

 

“…If I agree to this, will you leave him alone?” Ben asked, tired.

 

Leia immediately disengaged from the face and headed towards the front door.

 

“Thank you for agreeing in a civilized manner. I’m going to be gone for a few weeks. Stuff to do, places to inspect, people to observe. I think there’s milk in the fridge?”

 

“It’s has been expired for a week—”

 

“—You can fend for yourself, right? You’re usually alive when I get back.”

 

“Mother, do you really think I can live on expired milk?”

 

“You’ll be fine. See you next year!”

 

Leia made her swift exit, leaving the two behind. Ben rubbed his face, trying to not to throw things.

 

“Oh man. She’s never like that with me.”

 

Ben froze. He forgot for a moment that Poe was there. He wasn’t sure if anyone besides his father had ever seen how Leia treated him in their “private lives”.

 

“I mean…that was a bit negligent?”

 

Ben waved his statement off.

 

“She’s got better things to do than make sure I’m fed. Besides, I stole her credit card like three years ago and she hasn’t noticed yet. I eat the finest food.”

 

Ben could still feel those eyes on him.

 

“Ugh, don’t pity me, you brute. I pity you, you’re the one who need my help to not fail your test. Test? Tests? How many of them do you need help in, anyways?”

 

There were many things Ben Solo knew about Poe Dameron from his years of being lumped with the guy. He knew that Poe snored in his sleep. He knew that Poe scrunched his nose whenever he laughed. And he knew the kind of look Poe made when he was nervous to say something.

 

Ben sighed.

 

“Just spit it out. I promise…I’ll try not to get upset.”

 

Poe smiled nervously.

 

“Uh…all of them?”

 

Ben breathed in. Ben breathed out. His anger still bubbled to the surface.

 

“What in the force have you been doing all semester!?”

 

Poe shrank.

 

“I had a lot of Flight Club practice, okay? I really want to become a pilot, do something with myself.”

 

It was strange. Ben knew he had been growing a lot recently, but he didn’t notice until that instant that he was Poe’s height. Ben honestly never thought he’d get to Poe’s height. Poe had always been taller.

 

“…So? Can you help me, Ben? You’re always doing so well on tests and stuff and I have no clue how I got so behind. I mean, do I really need to know who Mace Windu is? Do I _have_ to understand the complexities of a hyperdrive if I already know how to use one? Do I really need to know logic tables?”

 

“Yes, Poe. You actually do. They’re things you should have known months ago.”

 

Ben tried to wrap his head around just how bad of a position Poe has placed himself in.

 

“Do you have your previous tests? Homework assignments? Anything on you to gage?”

 

Ben could see him sweat. Ben grimaced.

 

“Look. Let’s go to the school. We should be allowed to get your papers. They encourage students to study there during these free days anyways. We might as well use the library while we’re over there. You got yourself here by your land cruiser, right?”

 

Poe slowly nodded.

 

“Then what are we doing in this depressing place? Let’s head to school. I’d rather be there than stuck with the twenty bodyguards hidden around this stupid house.”

 

Poe blinked.

 

“There are twenty bodyguards around here?”

 

“They’ve doubled it since the last time you actually walked into here, I think,” Ben remarked offhandedly, getting his backpack together.

 

“Doubled? More like quadrupled. Just thinking of twenty pairs of eyes constantly around gives me the heebee jeebees.”

 

Ben shrugged.

 

“You kind of get used to it after a while. Or not. Come on, let’s get out of here,” Ben said, heading towards the door.

 

There was something about the wind on his face as Ben sped down an old road that made Ben both disgusted by the amount of insects one can be slapped in the face with and weirdly calm.

 

It reminded him of days where his dad would come home, those rare occasions where his father would dare show his face around. His father would always drive him to the market and get him something his mother wouldn’t approve of. They were fast times involving runs from bodyguards and chases with people looking for Han’s head. Ben had come to despise them.

 

“Do you really like flying that much?” asked Ben wistfully.

 

They passed fields of feathery long grass. It swayed in perpetual wind. It felt perfect next to the rolling hills, the tall forests in the distance. It was one of the better planets that Ben lived on.

 

“Yeah…I do. One day I’ll fly to every system like it was nothing. I’ll do it while protecting everyone.”

 

They passed a herd of cattle. A young woman leaned on a sole tree in the field. She looked dazed, perhaps even asleep. She looked peaceful.

 

“I don’t think I’d be allowed out of this dump unless my mother changed base locations,” Ben remarked, “I don’t know if she just fears for my life or if she’s just scared I’m going to end up like my father.”

 

Ben could see their high school in the distance.

 

“That’s why I’m going to go to that stupid Jedi school my uncle is cooking up once he figures it all out. I know my mother doesn’t want me to go, but…it’s better that than this. This isn’t living.”

 

Poe pulled into the school and Ben noticed a thoughtful gaze his direction.

 

“We could go to University together. New Republic U. Remember what we promised?”

 

Ben slouched under the thoughtful gaze. He couldn’t return it.

 

“We were kids when we promised something so stupid. As is, your grades are probably subpar for such a place and its security would either have to be tightened for me or I’d have to walk around with a bodyguard and I _refuse_ to do that anymore.”

 

The two walked out of the car, heading towards the school.

 

“You gotta have some hope, Ben. It’s what our parents’ generation were built on.”

 

“Our parents lived in an autocratic regime that used immense power to basically enslave its subjects. They needed something. I’m a realist.”

 

Ben paused. Ben Solo really did hate Poe Dameron, he swore to that fact.

 

“I m-mean…If…If there was a chance, maybe…but it’s slim! And who’d want to keep going to school with you!”

 

They walk in silence as they head towards Poe’s locker.

 

“Y-you’d have to get your grades up during this midterms…So stop that look, you’re making me uncomfortable,” grumbled Ben.


	8. Ben Solo isn’t a Big Brother!

Ben Solo wasn’t a “kids” person. Even when he was a child, he wasn’t a “kids” person. So, it was unexpected when he saw the unscrupulous fox casually carrying a child around like a bag of potatoes.

 

“Benny!” Poe called, plopping the child down in front of him, “I volunteered you to be Rey’s Big Brother for the day!”

 

Ben flinched.

 

“What? What!? What do you mean? Why are you doing this? Do you truly hate me this much!?”

 

Poe laughed.

 

“Oh, Benny, you’re so weird! You totally said you would do this when I asked you to.”

 

“ _You never asked me to do this_!”

 

Poe shoved the eighth grader towards Ben.

 

“Her name is Rey—I think. She likes beating people up with martial arts moves and stealing ships. Make her less of a mess within a day!”

 

“B-but—”

 

“Oh, look at the time, gotta go! Got Flight Club practice during the break. We should hangout later, okay? Bye!”

 

Before Ben could even respond, Poe was gone. Ben grimace.

 

“I don’t even get how you knew where I was! I didn’t tell you where I was going today!” Ben yelled at basically the abysmal void that Poe left.

 

Ben felt like breaking things. But he was in public. This was why he hated coming to the public library.

 

“Hey! Was he your boyfriend?”

 

Ben flinched.

 

“Who—how could someone l-like that even be— _He’s so gross though_!”

 

Ben felt like he was going to die. Was that what dishonor felt like? A growing fear that people think you would date an idiot?

 

Rey nodded in agreement.

 

“Oh yeah, he’s totally gross. All dorky and energetic, thinking I can’t take a whole gang on,” she said, pouting, “He wouldn’t let me take ‘em on.”

 

It was weird for Ben. He felt like…he just met a kindred spirit? What was that feeling? A feeling of comrades, dealing with doofuses?

 

“Why’d you let some gross guy up and snatch you, then? Where are your parental units?”

 

Rey glared at the floor, kicking a chair over.

 

“They’re not around, okay? They left and…they said they’re coming back soon…I know it’s been a while but—but still! I know they’ll come back!”

 

Rey sighed, walking over to the chair and standing it up.

 

“Poe’s grandfather does volunteer work for the foster home system I’m in at the moment. Everyone’s getting some stupid ‘Big Sibling Little Sibling Day’ and I didn’t want any of it. It’s so dumb. I’m fine on my own. Someday, I’m just gonna be on my own forever and it’s gonna be great. I don’t need anyone while I wait for them to come back…”

 

There were many people in the world that Ben Solo hated. Happy people. Strict people. His parents. Sometimes Ben wondered if there even was a kind of person he liked. However, in that moment, he couldn’t help but see himself in this child. He hated it. He didn’t want this for some kid.

 

“Do…you like studying or…books…perchance?”

 

Rey shrugged.

 

“I don’t need dumb books. I have my fists, and my fists are ones of passion, ready to ruin a guy with a flaming punch to the gut!”

 

Ben blinked.

 

“I…weirdly like the passion…but I’m sort of stuck at this library at the moment since it’s the only place in town with high enough security for me, so could you possibly…read something?”

 

Rey groaned.

 

“Can I just use the books as weights?”

 

Proper library etiquette, Ben was told in his youth, was to stay quiet and stay orderly. To not bend the pages and to not tamper with the books. Or set them on fire. Definitely not allowed, as many librarians insisted back then. He searched his mind, trying to remember whether or not using books in a less traditional fashion would go along with the guidelines of proper library etiquette. After a few seconds, he gave up his half-hearted thought on the matter.

 

Poe walked up to Ben as he finished reading ahead in their physics textbook, just in time for him to pick up Rey, he assumed. Poe raised an eyebrow.

 

“Uh…what’s Rey doing?”

 

Rey, who was lifting stacks of books like weights, threw her piles at Poe in anger.

 

“I do what I want, you son of a bantha!”

 

She giggled maniacally as she sprinted passed Poe. Poe groaned, scrambling to get the books off of him in order to chase the strange girl. Ben smiled at the sight.


	9. Ben Solo Doesn’t Do Birthdays!

For as long as Ben Solo could remember, his birthday had never really been a big deal to anyone other than Poe Dameron. His parents rarely remembered his birthday, let alone were home to celebrate it. It wasn’t as if his bodyguards were paid to remember it when he was young. Poe had always done something for Ben, though, and as the years went by, it became less endearing and more annoying.

 

It was a surprise to Ben, though, when he walked into the classroom after winter break to find nothing on his locker. No surprise cakes taking space on his desk. Not even a Poe waiting for him at his desk like a loyal robot, ready to wish him a happy birthday.

 

Ben glanced over at Poe’s desk. He never realized how far away from him it was. It felt cluttered with people. Ben knew Poe had always been popular. His desk always had people hanging near it. Today it felt…like a lot, though.

 

Ben waved off this strangeness. For Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron to his very core and he shouldn’t bother himself with the day to day of such a conniving fox, lest he want to be ensnared in some nefarious trap.

 

In fact, Ben was happy about this. He was completely fine. He loved to be alone. This is the best present anyone could ever give him.

 

“Hey, Gloomy Guy—”

 

“ _Shut up, I’m totally happy_!” hissed Ben.

 

Kaydel jumped, stepping away from the desk with her hands in the air.

 

“I…I just wanted to ask if I could see your bio homework…I forgot to do it, sooo…”

 

Ben breathed in. He breathed out. He calmed down as much as he could.

 

“Here. Take it. Just give it back by third period,” Ben said through gritted teeth.

 

Kaydel reluctantly inched her way towards Ben. She snatched the sheet of paper and ran off to her little corner. Ben wasn’t glaring in Poe’s direction. He didn’t care. He was super happy with this. He’s wanted Poe to stop his weird tricks on his birthday for a while. This is what he wanted.

 

Ben sat alone during lunch. Ben knew Poe would usually cart him around in some stupid paper crown or something, having his friends singing songs, trumpeting him like he was the latest accessory. It was all stressful and terrible.

 

Ben was glad he could just sit at his desk and eat the lunch he had prepared for himself. It was normal. Nothing special. Poe would generally do something like sneak him off of campus and endanger everyone by making his lunch special. Which was a stupid thing for him to do. Ben had enough to deal with, so eating like this was just fine. He liked eating alone. People were always too much, anyways, always asking about the adults they thought were a part of his life.

 

Ben lay on the grassy hills next to the field. He knew Poe would go there sometimes to think, but that wasn’t the reason Ben went there. Poe didn’t own the hills on campus. The school owned this hills on campus. Or rented them. Ben wasn’t actually sure.

 

Ben could sit on stupid hills too and look up at the depressing sky where everyone will go when they eventually leave him behind. And it will be great because he’ll be completely alone then and no one will care what he would do. He liked being alone, and being completely alone felt like a reprieve.

 

Ben stopped sitting on stupid hills. Ben didn’t have to deal with whatever weird sad feelings that cropped up whenever he looked at that stupid, open sky, full of possibilities to everyone besides himself.

 

One day, he was going to leave his mother’s grasp. He was going to break free from this feeling. He was going to be free like Poe. But not like Poe. Because Poe was different from him. And Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron the most. And Ben wasn’t going to be around when Poe needed a reason to not go to the skies and go to some stupid university.

 

Ben waited in the library for his ride home. It was great. He got to be all alone at his own table for once. All those dumb people Poe knew weren’t trying to steal his answers to homework assignments, for once. No one taking advantage of that slim piece of goodwill he had. No having to deal with people. It was great. He didn’t need people, anyways. People were stupid. And gross. And they had better things to do than deal with him.

 

Ben was walking out of the library when someone suddenly grabbed his wrist and dragged him through school in a sprint.

 

“Hey! Stop! Let go of—”

 

The person opened a door to reveal a classroom decorated, a large banner with the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BENNY!” draped on the white board, swarms of Poe’s friends congregating, throwing confetti in Ben’s face as they screamed, “Surprise!”

 

Ben faltered. Confusion spread through him.

 

“But…but…”

 

Poe let go out Ben’s wrist. He grinned.

 

“What? You thought I’d forget your birthday? Give me some credit!”

 

Poe sighed.

 

“This was really hard to pull off, you know?”

 

Ben’s vision became blurry.

 

“This is so dumb, Poe. I told you I don’t do birthdays.”

 

“Awwww, he’s crying! Who knew Gloomy Guy was so adorable,” called out a voice from the smudgy world.

 

“I-I don’t cry! Ugh! These are tears of rage! I don’t want your stupid birthday party! I was just fine earlier, without all your dumb sentimental birthday stuff!” Ben snarled, wiping his eyes.

 

“Oh force, maybe a surprise party wasn’t a good idea?” said Poe, faltering.

 

“I hate surprises more than birthdays,” grumbled Ben.

 

“I’ll just make it a whole parade next year. A ditch day,” said Poe, walking Ben over to his cake.

 

“Whatever. None of this cake is for you idiots,” mumbled Ben, sticking his hand into the cake and essentially ruining it for everyone else.

 

Ben could hear Poe laugh cry at the site. Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron so much.


	10. Ben Solo Doesn’t Like Being Tall!

“Oh force, Ben. If you keep growing like that, you’re going to be breaking through the ceiling,” Poe said, staring up at Ben.

 

While Ben Solo usually looked nothing like his stupid parents, he had become a monstrous height he never wanted. His mother was 5’1”. His father was 6’1”. Ben was 5’6” at the start of this year and it surprised even himself that he managed to hit 6’2” within months. None of his old clothes fit and all the doors were now just a little too short. All that fit were his dad’s clothes. It was terrible.

 

“I feel like if we tip him over, he’ll take down like twenty people in his wake,” snickered Lorica.

 

“Should we test it out?” asked Greer in that serious tone that always made Ben wonder if she even knew how to tell a joke.

 

“No, we won’t!” growled Ben, “J-just—leave me be, okay? I can’t control how tall I grow, okay?”

 

“But you’re _so tall_. Is this how tall Luke Skywalker is?” asked Jess excitedly.

 

“I don’t know! It’s not like he visits often.”

 

“Why not? Aren’t you his nephew?”

 

Ben glared at Jess.

 

“Just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean they visit you all the time, Jess. People in my life have better things to do, okay?” Ben said through gritted teeth.

 

Jess sighed.

 

“So boring. I just want to know more about Luke Skywalker and you rarely give me anything good.”

 

“Well, _sorry_ that I’m such a terrible information source!”

 

“I kind of miss your old height, Benny. I could put my chin on the top of your head and everything,” remarked Poe.

 

Ben had enough of all these comments.

 

“I’m sorry I’m not the right chin-to-head height for you now! Force! It’s not like I asked for this, okay? Being tall is so stupid!” Ben said, hitting his head as he tried to pass through a doorway, “Son of a Bantha!”

 

“You need to duck a bit, Gloomy Guy,” Ello pointed out, grinning maliciously.

 

Ben groaned in frustration, his arms flailing around.

 

“Being tall is stupid!”

 

Poe laughed, patting Ben’s back.

 

“It’s not too bad. You’d be a great partner for a game of Chicken. And you can grab things on the top shelf. And you could give me a piggyback ride and I’d feel taller.”

 

“All of those things are better for you, stupid!”

 

Poe grinned.

 

“Yeah? I guess so. All of them are cool, though.”

 

Ben sat at his desk.

 

“I don’t know why I talk to you all. None of you are comforting,” grumbled Ben, his head on his desk.

 

“You pierce my heart,” Snap said in half-hearted monotone, “I thought we were friends.”

 

“ _Shut it_.”

 

Ben felt a hand on his back, rubbing in circles.

 

“Aw, come on. It’s not too bad. Being tall is cool. I’m sure you’ll find something cool about it.”

 

“I don’t want to be my dad’s height. He’s the worst. I don’t want to be anything like him.”

 

“You don’t like Han Solo?” Greer said, surprised, “But your dad’s a war hero. He saved my planet. I have such deep respect for him.”

 

Ben moved his head away from his desk, turning his attention to the young woman.

 

“He’s not your dad. You don’t know him as a dad. Sure, he’s a war hero, but he’s never home. All he does is smuggle and get in situations where my mother has to bail him out. He’s ridiculous and the worst. I’m not even sure if he’s come home once this year.”

 

“That’s a bit unexpected,” Greer said, surprised, “I always thought you had a pretty stable home life with people like General Organa and Ex-General Solo. They seemed so in love when they helped my planet.”

 

“Love for themselves,” Ben scoffed, “Sometimes, I wonder if they were ever parent material. They’re both too into themselves and their separate careers to have time for something like childrearing.”

 

“That’s…really sad. I’m sorry, Ben.”

 

Ben glared at her.

 

“If you pity me again, I swear on the force I’ll never let you copy my homework again. I don’t need sympathy or empathy. I’m going to be a rogue force user. I’m going to go to that stupid Jedi School when it opens, learn all that I can, and make it off on my own.”

 

The group around him grew silent.

 

“If you got nothing to say, just leave!”

 

The group dispersed. And Ben was fine with that.


	11. Ben Solo Doesn’t Play Jinx!

Ben Solo was a very serious student. He had always been top of his class. Even in Elementary school, he spent most of his time studying. His mother placed a picture of the child who was number one in GPA on their refrigerator each semester and Ben loathed when he wasn’t the one there. It was like wearing a perpetual dunce cap.

 

“Jinx! You owe me a soda!”

 

As such a studious young man, he had never really been part of any games that kids played. Even when Poe had tried to pull him into childish games, it was hard for Ben to give in and be a part of one. However, that didn’t mean he could stop Poe from forcing him into these games.

 

“How many—”

 

“—sodas do I owe you now—”

 

Ben grimaced.

 

“It was ten earlier, but now it’s eleven.”

 

Ben glared, standing up and pointing his finger full of rage at that devious fox.

 

“St—”

 

“—op copying at me!”

 

Twelve. Ben breathed in. He breathed out. He tried to calm down. The fox’s grin was too much, though.

 

“Seriously stop!”

 

Thirteen.

 

“ _Ugh_.”

 

Fourteen.

 

“No!”

 

Fifteen.

 

“Stop it already!”

 

Ben flipped his desk, almost foaming at the mouth. He breathed heavily as he glared at the stupid desk and thought of the stupid amount of money he was losing. Ben could hear Poe laughing at him, them all laughing at him. Poe patted Ben’s back roughly.

 

“Come on, Benny, it’s—”

 

“—only a joke!”

 

Ben’s grin was toothy, his laugh maniacal.

 

“Ha! There’s a taste of your own fragging medicine! You can only blame—”

 

“—yourself!”

 

Ben immediately stopped grinned. Sixteen. Kaydel glanced from Ben to Poe.

 

“By the Force, Poe, you’re deadly to Gloomy Guy on the Jinx game.”

 

Ben couldn’t stop his eye from twitching. He walked over to Poe’s desk with a measured pace. Ben flipped Poe’s desk and kicked his chair to the ground.

 

“B-Benny?”

 

Ben stomped out of the room, fuming.

 

“Getting your stupid _sixteen_ sodas,” grumbled Ben.


	12. Ben Solo Doesn't Care If You're Sick!

Ever since they were placed in the same class as second years, Ben Solo had always been obnoxiously greeted by Poe Dameron as if nothing had changed in their relationship since they were children. Poe would fling himself from his desk, giddily smiling as he tried to embarrass Ben with a “hello”, the devilish fox. It was a stupid morning ritual that Ben never really cared for.

 

It was a surprise, however, when Ben Solo had entered the classroom to find no Poe Dameron at all. Ben knew that Poe drove his grandfather to the senior citizens center early in the morning for his meditation classes, so Poe would always in turn get to school early. Yet, his bag was not near his desk this morning. It was a strange site.

 

Slowly, Ben found himself at his desk, his eyes unconsciously moving back to Poe’s desk as the minutes passed. He wondered if Poe was just…late? Which, in itself, felt like a weirdness.

 

“…oomy Guy? Hey? You there?”

 

Kaydel snapped her fingers in Ben’s face.

 

“Huh? What? What is it?” asked Ben.

 

“Uh…can I borrow your chemistry homework?”

 

Ben handed her a pile of papers.

 

“Yeah, sure, I guess…”

 

Kaydel moved her face in front of Ben’s. Ben usually would not be pleased with that worry on her face. It would usually annoy him.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah? Why?”

 

Kaydel pushed the papers into his face.

 

“Because this is your history homework.”

 

Ben took the papers back and searched his bag, finding the correct homework to hand over.

 

“Are you worried about Poe?” asked Kaydel as she grabbed the chemistry homework from him.

 

“…He usually comes to school early. His grandfather has a meditation class at the senior center in the morning. He always drives the old fart to that class before he comes to school. He should be here by now.”

 

“Wow. If you’re not throwing a hissy fit, this must be serious. I don’t remember reading anything about traffic, either, so this is a bit peculiar. I could ask Mr. Nunb if he knows anything, if you want me to.”

 

Ben blinked.

 

“How are you going to do that? He always stays in the teacher’s lounge until after the bell.”

 

Kaydel winked.

 

“I have my ways.”

 

“I don’t get it. Why are you being so nice to me?”

 

Kaydel grips her chest in faux-pain.

 

“You hurt me, Ben. We’ve been friends for a while. You always help me with my homework. Least I can do is make sure Poe’s fine for you.”

 

Ben’s not sure if he likes what he thinks she’s implying. But he also would rather know what’s going on than not.

 

“…fine. Thanks…friend.”

 

Kaydel grinned.

 

“No problem, buddy!”

 

Kaydel rushed back into the classroom, just in time for the bell. She stopped at Ben’s desk. She had his full attention.

 

“So?” Ben asked.

 

“He’s sick. Some kind of twenty-four hour bug or something,” Kaydel replied.

 

Ben grimaced. He groaned.

 

“Whatever. Whatever! I don’t care! I’m just going to see if he’s playing hooky!” yelled Ben, throwing his hands up in the air as he stood up.

 

“You can probably check on him after school—”

 

“It’s fine, whatever!” Ben said, grabbing his homework and stuffing it into Kaydel’s hands, “Just make sure everything’s turned in for me! I swear, I’ll kill him if he made this all up! No one gets to play hooky while I’m around!”

 

Ben stomped out of the room, figuring out the logistics of sneaking out of school without his mother and the school’s security system figuring out.

 

Ben Solo had never been one to break the rules placed on him. Ben had stopped trying to run from the security placed on him after the day that bounty hunter almost killed Poe. However, just because Ben played by the rules didn’t mean Ben didn’t know how to break the rules if he felt he had to, and staring at Poe’s house, Ben wondered if bringing the danger he might have brought to Poe was really worth that sort of effort.

 

And then Ben Solo remembered he hated Poe Dameron. And somehow, he felt justified bringing the danger Poe’s way. He loathed that devious fox. Why should he worry about things like his safety and health? Ben was just making sure he wasn’t being stupid and playing hooky.

 

Ben rang the doorbell and immediately regretted all his decisions. He didn’t remember if Poe’s grandfather liked him. Would he be chewed out for ditching school himself for making sure Poe wasn’t just ditching? Thoughts swirled in his head as he saw the door open to reveal a tiny old man.

 

“Oh my. Well, if it isn’t little Benny Solo, though, I suppose you’re not as little as you used to be.”

 

Ben suddenly was unable to remember why he came. He wasn’t sure if it was the stress of wondering if Poe’s grandfather would be angry or the surprise nice attack.

 

“Are you here to check on Poe?”

 

Ben’s face turned red.

 

“N-no…”

 

“That’s a shame. I have a few errands to run and it’d be such a big help if you could watch over him while I’m out.”

 

Ben found his hands clasping Poe’s grandfather’s hands.

 

“I-I can do that, sir! You don’t need to worry!”

 

“Good, good. Thank you so much, young man,” the grandfather said, walking Ben into the home, “You’re welcome to anything in the fridge. I’m sure you’ll get hungry once lunch rolls around. Poe only has a fever for now, so just make sure his condition doesn’t worsen. If it does, feel free to call me.”

 

The grandfather wrote down his number and tacked it to the refrigerator. There was something about Poe’s grandfather just made him feel…warm? Safe? It was weird. Ben didn’t want to think too much about it.

 

“Thank you again for doing this, Benny. You’re being a great help to me.”

 

Ben couldn’t make eye contact without feeling his face heat up. He turned his head away, patting the old man.

 

“It’s no problem, I can do this. I’m here to help.”

 

The grandfather walked towards the front door.

 

“I’ll be back by five. See you later. Perhaps you can even stay for dinner.”

 

Ben waved at the old man in a daze as the man left. And then Ben was alone.

 

The home was surprisingly…normal. A bit cluttered, but nice. It felt like there were actual memories in this house. Not like his own home, which was sparse and sterilized, which felt like it was ready for an open house at any moment. It felt…warm…like a home. It made Ben squeamish. He despised the feeling of home.

 

It felt like the same layout as their house back on Yavin 4. Ben walked down the hall of the one-story home, wondering if Poe’s room was in the same place. He opened the second door to the right to find…Poe.

 

Ben felt awkward, stepping into the room of his mortal enemy. The lair of the scheming fox himself.

 

It seemed like a normal enough bedroom for the kind of guy Poe was. His desk had become a shelf for x-wing models. His bookshelves were filled with pilot manuals and spacecraft magazines. Vintage rebel pilots took up most of the space on the walls, though, one in particular gripped Ben’s attention—A-Wing Ace Pilot from the Green Squadron, Lieutenant Shara Bey, a.k.a Green Four.

 

Ben only had vague memories of the Lieutenant. Ben had met her a few times, when she’d brought Poe over to his house to play on Yavin 4. He remembered her being kind. She reminded him a lot like how Poe’s grandfather acts, how Poe acts. She was definitely a better mother than his own ever was.

 

“Hey…I didn’t know you knew where I lived…”

 

Ben jumped. Poe yawned, shivering as he nestled more into his blanket cocoon.

 

“I-I didn’t think you’d wake up.”

 

“I have a fever, I’m not in a coma…you should probably keep your distance, I don’t remember if this is contagious.”

 

Ben walked over to Poe, grabbing his desk chair and sitting at his bedside.

 

“Ugh, don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my boss. I’m a dark knight with a lone wolf disposition and penchant for the force. No one can stop me, especially a weakling like you.”

 

Poe laughed.

 

“Sounds about right…this takes me back. Remember the last time you actually came to my house? I was sick that time too.”

 

Ben grimaced, switching out Poe’s forehead towel.

 

“Don’t remind me. That was terrifying, you know that? No one knew what illness you had, you kept getting worse, your grandfather was stuck in another city due to a flash flood, no one knew if you’d survive…”

 

“That was towards the end of elementary school. Times were different back then…do you get why we grew apart in middle school? We were so close before.”

 

Ben stared at Poe.

 

“Seriously? You don’t get why we didn’t hang out in middle school?”

 

Ben was reminded how much Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron.

 

“…What do you mean?”

 

Ben stood up from his seat, glaring down at the forgetful man.

 

“How do you not get why we stopped hanging out in middle school!?” Ben yelled, “It was all _your_ fault! You hung out with different people and you had less and less time to hang out with me! You started pulling pranks on me, stopped taking my problems seriously, treated me like a prop in your stupid jokes! And then you became so distant that you stopped trying to poke fun at me all together, you stopped talking to me by the start of eighth grade!”

 

Ben turned away from the idiot. Because Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. And he shouldn’t care about this anymore.

 

“What did you think middle school was like for me?” Ben whispered, “No one else ever got near me after they heard about the incident with the bounty hunter. They were all _terrified_ …”

 

Ben’s brain kept telling his legs to move. He didn’t understand why they weren’t moving. He heard the bed creak.

 

“I…I didn’t know it was that bad…that I was that bad…I didn’t think, Ben. That was on me.”

 

Ben crossed his arms.

 

“I don’t want this. What’s done is done. There’s not much you can do about what you did in the past.”

 

“I’d like to still be friends with you.”

 

“I’m not sure if we were ever friends.”

 

An arm pulled Ben around, Poe was standing.

 

“Hey, wait! You shouldn’t be—”

 

“Then let’s start a new. My name is Poe Dameron. I was total bantha fodder when I was a middle schooler, but I feel like I’ve reformed. Want to be friends?”

 

“If I agree, will you lay back down!? Seriously, you shouldn’t be pushing yourself with a fever.”

 

Poe Dameron grinned.

 

“Cool. Glad we’re friends.”


	13. Ben Solo Doesn’t Do Beaches!

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, _no_!”

 

Ben kept shaking his head.

 

“I don’t do beaches! You can’t make me!”

 

Poe grabbed Ben by the hips and threw him over his shoulder. Ben couldn’t believe he was being carried around like a sack of potatoes.

 

“This is kidnapping! My mother will have you arrested! I didn’t agree to this!”

 

Ben squirmed to no avail. Poe’s grip was a steal trap. There was no escape.

 

“I already talked to your mom. General Organa thought it’d be a good idea for you to get some fresh air, have some normal teenage tomfoolery or something. She also told me to tell you hi?”

 

While Ben Solo would generally recount his dislike list with Poe at the very top, closely followed by his father, General Leia Organa had just jumped to Poe’s place.

 

“How can she even do that? She knows I hate sand. And salt water. And sunburns. _How could she betray me so_?”

 

Poe laughed, bringing him outside to his land cruiser filled to the brim with his other friends, his partners in crime.

 

Ben gasped as he saw Kaydel.

 

“Kaydel, _you betray me too_!? _Was our friendship a lie_!?”

 

Kaydel laughed at Ben’s pain, like some awful mastermind.

 

“Ben, what are you even talking about? We’re taking you to the beach! Everybody loves the beach!”

 

Ello shrugged.

 

“I don’t really care whether you bring him or not. I’m not a fan, really.”

 

“I’m not a fan of you either, Ello!” hissed Ben, “Go die in a hole!”

 

“Aw, don’t be mean. Here, you can even sit in my lap!” said Lorica, patting her lap and gesturing for him to come.

 

Ben took a moment to take in the already crowded car.

 

“Isn’t this illegal? There’s like six people in that four person car already, and that’s not including us, Poe.”

 

“Eh, it’s fine,” said Poe, waving him off as he prepared to toss Ben in, “We’ll make room.”

 

“ _Where_!?” Ben blurted as he felt his back hit a picnic basket.

 

He winced. Lorica pulled him off from the ground and sat him on her and Greer’s laps.

 

“Don’t be so stingy, Ben.”

 

“I think I’m being the right amount of stingy, Lorica, thank you very much! I’m going to kill you all! Do you know how unsafe it is to travel like this!? We’re going to be pulled over for sure! And then we’ll be thrown into jail and my mother will hear about this and then she’ll have to bail me out and she’ll never trust me to live on my own, using this as the example and—”

 

“Stop worrying so much! We’re going to be fine,” Poe said, hopping into the driver’s seat.

 

“Nothing’s ever fine at the beach,” Ben harrumphed, hoping he could use the force if his non-seatbuckled body were to be flung from the car.

 

It had only been five minutes and Ben already felt sand getting into ever crack on his being. Ben Solo hated the beach.

 

“Why am I even here? You could have just gone without me,” sulked Ben.

 

“It’s not that bad here. We can make sand castles and play in the water. Beaches are fun, Benny,” said Poe.

 

A gust of wind blew, sand flying into Ben’s face. Ben coughed on the coarse grains, squinting as his eyes burned.

 

“ _Screech lies_!”

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

Lorica and Kaydel drag Ben over to the sea.

 

“It’s not that bad, Gloomy Guy! Let’s just take a dip in the ocean,” said Kaydel.

 

“Yeah! The ocean’s awesome!” Lorica agreed.

 

A tsunami of a splash fell down upon the trio. Ben’s eyes felt on fire. Through weeping eyes, Ben saw the foggy image of Ello dubiously grinning.

 

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there,” said the snake himself.

 

“ _Why beach why_!? _Why do you hate me so_!?” Ben yelled in agony.

 

Ben felt crabs snipping at his toes, forcing him jump around like an idiot.

 

Ben Solo had never been the luckiest of people, but if he knew one thing to be true, it was that beaches had a death wish for him. Every element of the location was out to kill him and he was not in the mood to deal with it.

 

“Maybe…maybe we should help him out of here?” asked Lorica, who Ben was sure was watching him in slight amusement.

 

“What I’m wondering more is how is he the only one being attacked by crabs?” mused Jess from a distance.

 

Ben swiped at the sound of her voice.

 

“What about you come over here, huh? See what _you’re_ made of when it comes to the _dreaded horrors of crabs_?” Ben proposed, a poisoned tone to his words.

 

“Do you…want me to escort you to safety, Gloomy Guy?” asked Kaydel reluctantly.

 

Ben slapped away the hand of the traitor, still unable to clearly see, still fighting a losing battle with crab pincers.

 

“I don’t need your ruddy help, you traitor!”

 

Strong arms grabbed him by the shoulders.

 

“Leave Benny to me, I can lead him to safety.”

 

Ben’s infinite rage seemed to increase as Poe dragged him around.

 

“Sod it! Leave me be, you stupid flyboy! I don’t need this, I don’t need anyone’s help!”

 

Ben felt Poe sit him down on a laid out towel.

 

“Just stop harassing me, you moof-milker! You’ve done enough already!”

 

Ben felt a towel on his face.

 

“Come on, just rub the salt out of your eyes.”

 

Ben paused on his rant. Towels had always been one of his best friends. Ben blinked, flinching once he saw how close Poe’s face was to his own.

 

“You okay now?” asked Poe.

 

Ben glowered at Poe. Poe conceded.

 

“I get it. No more beaches. Will getting you a snow cone make up for this nasty business?”

 

Ben hugged his knees, hiding his face.

 

“Get me a juna berry snow cone and I’ll think about it,” mumbled Ben through his legs.

 

Ben stared at the scene. His friends playing in the ocean. Poe rushing over to the snow cone stand in the distance. Ben felt the coolness of the shadow draping him from the umbrella. Ben thought that maybe, just maybe, beaches weren’t the worst.


	14. Ben Solo Doesn’t Talk to People From Other Schools!

If Ben Solo hated anything, it was people as a whole. All the people. Tall people. Short people. Any kind of person. So when Ben Solo heard that a group of students from the Tarkin Preparatory School for Good Militant Souls would be visiting during the three day weekend for the Flight Simulator Regionals, Ben Solo was not exactly excited that he’d have to deal with _more_ people.

 

Surprisingly, though, Poe didn’t seem too excited either.

 

“I don’t like ‘em,” Poe coughed through a mouthful of granola, “They’re mean. They’re rude. They always want to destroy everything.”

 

Ben perked up.

 

“Whoa. I think I’ve actually found my people.”

 

Poe moped, his head falling on Ben’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t be like that. They’re our school’s mortal enemies.”

 

“All the more reason to like them.”

 

Kaydel slammed her smoothie onto the coffee table with the force of ten Kaydels.

 

“You don’t get it because you’re not into sports, Gloomy Guy!” Kaydel screamed, “Tarkin Prep people are _the worst_! They’re so full of themselves and are such sore winners! _Ugh_! I just want to wipe their smug smiles off their faces!”

 

“You said it, sister!” Jess agreed, “They’re fangs out sleemos that will do anything to win. But we’re going to kick their butts this time!”

 

“You’re passionate, I get that, just—don’t ruin the coffee table. My mother’ll kill me if I ruin it.”

 

Ben felt some sort of happiness as he saw Ello shiver at the idea of angering General Leia Organa, Princess of a dead world Ben didn’t care about, Conqueror of Empires. No one else really got how big of a deal that could be, though. It freaked Ben out how excited Jess got.

 

“Wait—how much of your house do we have to ruin before your uncle comes? Does Luke Skywalker do favors for Leia?”

 

Bodyguards come from the hallway, dragging Jess away.

 

“Hey? What did I say? Where did you guys even _come_ from?” she said, her voice echoing through the hallway.

 

Ben Solo had never been a fan of the bodyguards forced upon him. He understood the necessity, but it felt constricting. It felt like he was stuck in a jail of his mother’s design, most of the time. But if he could like anything about the dead weight, he could like that they’d make sure he wouldn’t have to deal with people who will get him in major trouble with his mother.

 

Lorica nibbled on a cookie.

 

“Should we…do something about that? I thought Jess was going to be your wingman on bio studying stuff.”

 

Ben rolled his eyes, presenting copies of his notes to these people whom he was pretty sure were Poe’s dumb friends. And Poe. He really wished Poe didn’t tell all these people about their study sessions.

 

“You don’t believe in the powers of my brain and note taking?”

 

Kaydel clutched the notes.

 

“Don’t you dare take my ticket to straight As and Bs back!” Kaydel growled.

 

Poe was all smiles.

 

“Benny’s notes are the best. I got straight Bs because of those notes and his help. He’s really good. I feel like some day, I might even make an A that’s not in phys ed.”

 

Ben felt weird about what he was saying. He didn’t like this goopy home feeling. It grossed him out. He needed space from it.

 

“Eh, you have brains if you look for them. It’s not like I’m taking the tests for you. Make sure to get _some_ studying done on Monday, okay? I know you got this game or whatever, but this bio test is important too.”

 

“Oh wait, that reminds me! You’re coming to the game, Benny.”

 

Ben grimaced.

 

“…No…”

 

Poe got too close for Ben’s liking, his face everything in his peripheral as his hands grasped Ben’s shoulders.

 

“Come on! It’s _regionals_. You gotta root for your best friend!”

 

 

“Yeah!” said Kaydel, finishing her smoothie, “You have to watch _me_ , your best friend!”

 

Lorica frowned.

 

“I thought me and Greer were your best friends, Kaydel.”

 

“I’m allowed to have more than two best friends, Lorica.”

 

Poe stood to his feet, a devastating aura around him that impressed even a force sensitive teen like Ben.

 

“Hey!” he said, pointing a finger at Kaydel, “ _I’m_ Benny’s best friend! Don’t go around stealing other people’s best friends!”

 

“Poe, you get that you’re best friends with me too, right?” Ello commented, glancing up from the notes.

 

It was as if Ben could see a light bulb appear above Poe’s head.

 

“Hey, if I trade Ello for Benny, will you stop being best friends with him?” asked Poe.

 

Ello flinched.

 

“Hey!…That’s not cool, man,” mumbled Ello glumly.

 

“Wait. Nevermind. I can’t do that,” sighed Poe, “That’d be morally wrong.”

 

He said it as if it was more of a chore than an actual thing he was supposed to do as a person. Ben glared at the both of them.

 

“Who said I was _anyone’s_ best friend?” snarled Ben, “Don’t clump me in with all your gross feelings, I don’t need them. Just take my notes and study.”

 

A terrible sadness swept both Poe and Kaydel. They stared down in silence, teary-eyed glances towards Ben filling Ben’s thoughts in a way Ben didn’t want. It was all so stupid. She was Poe’s friend. Poe shouldn’t care this much about some dumb words. Ben wasn’t expecting to feel…feelings about all of this. He hated it.

 

Ben groaned.

 

“Stop looking at me like that. I’ll go, Okay? I’ll go…f-friends…”

 

Ben’s face grew in color. It looked like a tomato on fire. Ben hid his face in his hands.

 

“R-really?” Poe said, a little too excited.

 

“Leave me be, just study!”

 

“Aw, you’re so cute!” Kaydel said, lunging at Ben, “I can’t believe your face is so _red_!”

 

Ben squirmed in her hug.

 

“ _Shut up_!”

 

Ben felt strong arms wrapping around him. He could feel a heart beat from this new hugger. Ben was not prepared for any of this. He thought all they were going to do was study, not have that amount of skinship.

 

“…please get off of me…”

 

“I knew you cared, Benny, I knew it!”

 

Ben flailed his arms, whacking the two people off of him.

 

“I think this study session is over. Bodyguards!”

 

Ben didn’t know what he was wearing. He stared down at the stupid t-shirt, wondering how Poe even got it on him.

 

“We’re really the Rowdy Loth-Cats?” queried Ben.

 

Greer squinted at Ben.

 

“How did you not know this by now?”

 

Ben shrugged. Ben had many things he was indifferent towards. Tauntauns. Luke Skywalker. Tiny little top hats on adorable miniature rancors. Ben truly was the most indifferent about sports, though.

 

“Just didn’t feel like important information up until now?”

 

The place felt too crowded. It felt like Ben’s worst nightmares coming true. He felt stressed.

 

“Do you really want me to be around here?” grumbled Ben.

 

Poe brought Ben into a hug, squishing Ben so much that Ben couldn’t breathe.

 

“I’m so glad you came! You’re going to totally see us kicking butt, taking names! It’s gonna be great!”

 

As Poe released Ben, for a second, it felt like an…okay moment? Ben wasn’t sure about the fuzzies, but it wasn’t too bad. Maybe it was just the lack of oxygen from earlier? For that second, Ben even thought Poe might not be the worst. But alas, there were so many seconds in that day.

 

The Brazen Brezaks were a team composed of the cream of the crop in Tarkin Prep. Five-year regional champions, the Brezaks were as ruthless as they were cunning. It was as if they were literally bred for it. As some of their team walked towards Poe’s friends, Ben felt Poe hugging him in a way he thought was a defensive stance, wrapping both arms around Ben.

 

“Well, well. If it isn’t the underclassmen from last year. I hope you’re ready for another swift defeat.”

 

There were times in Ben’s life where he’d meet people who felt almost mythological due to the rumors that swirled around them. That was one of those times. The Brezaks captain, known only as Phasma, apparently used to be quite the rebel rouser, a leader of gangs and thugs. It was said she could talk down groups of twenty without breaking a sweat. Her demeanor carried the haughtiness of a rich kid and the manners of a hooligan. She was a terrifying site.

 

“C-Captain, we shouldn’t be picking fights with them o-outside of the simulator.”

 

Finn Eighteen, however, was less of a story than Phasma. Plucked out of a slum or something, the kid seemed as meek and cowardly as they get. However, he was rumored to have innate aiming skills and an anger that could trump his timid disposition in a fight.

 

“You say that as if we wouldn’t get away with it if we were to pick a fight, and we all know that’s incorrect.”

 

Lastly was Armitage Hux, a terror to anyone he met. Cold and calculative, Hux has started wars amongst friend groups, disasters within schools. He was a mastermind if there ever was one, and his school somehow convinced him that his mind would be the most useful in a cockpit for Flight Simulator bouts. Something about him made a shiver run up Ben’s spine.

 

“J-Just leave us alone, okay?” blurted Lorica, flailing her arms at them, “We’ll fight you on the holoscreen, not for reals!”

 

Hux laughed cuttingly. But all Ben could notice was the fact that Finn Eighteen kept staring at his mortal enemy as if Poe were mesmerizing.

 

“As cowardly as Eighteen here, huh?” asked Hux with a smirk.

 

Phasma smirked as well, gesturing with her head for them to leave.

 

“You’re not even worth the punches,” spat Phasma with thick overconfidence.

 

Finn kept staring at Poe. It made Ben nervous. He didn’t like the innocent look in Finn’s eyes, he was definitely too pure to be some punk from Tarkin Prep. Ben decided giving Finn the stink eye would be the only option. To save the beautiful cinnamon roll from making a mistake with such a treacherous fox.

 

“What are you doing, Freshmeat?” said Phasma, snapping her fingers at him, “Let’s go already.”

 

Finn awkwardly waved goodbye with a stiff hand as he shuffled off with his crew.

 

“Ho boy. Those guys were _crazy_ aggressive. Just like last time,” sighed Kaydel, breaking into a sweat.

 

Ben was nervous. Poe’s still clinged to him.

 

“Who…who was that handsome man?”

 

Ben slowly turned towards Poe. Poe was melting in feelings. Ben squirmed out of Poe’s wobbly hold, terrified about all the gooiness Poe was throwing out into the world. It was like Karé Kun but ten times worse. Ben didn’t understand nor did he want to. That love felt like too much for anyone.

 

“I’m not telling you, you stupid in heat skug!”

 

No insult seemed to break through the oozing miasma of love floating about the man, though.

 

“This love is from the heart, not the penis! I mean, yeah, he’s quite _fine_ , but we all know heart love always prevails—”

 

“ _Shut up, shut up, shut up_ , I don’t want to know, stop talking,” shouted Ben, plugging his ears, “Do what you want! I’m going to the stands.”

 

Ben didn’t like stands. He’d put it in his Top Five Least Liked Place. 1) Beaches, 2) Home, 3) Dancefloors, 4) Stands, and 5) Any Crowd in General. Stands were gross and there was always overpriced food and oversized drinks and messy people dropping things on Ben and loud noises. Ben didn’t get why he agreed to all of this.

 

“Is the seat next to you taken?”

 

It was an old man. Hooded and scarred, he seemed super weird to Ben. However, it wasn’t like Ben had anyone else he was sitting with. Ben reluctantly shook his head. The old man smiled, sitting down next to Ben. He seemed frail. Wrinkly. Ben tried to fight his urge to find all old people gross for politeness’ sake.

 

“These games are so strange, aren’t they?” the old man said, as if reminiscing, “Simulators of all things. I’d rather see a real fight. Back in the day, there used to be fights to the death with light sabers, you know? Grand and eloquent gladiator battles. Those were the days…”

 

Ben raised an eyebrow.

 

“Uh…how far back was that?” asked Ben.

 

“Back when there wasn’t just Jedi or Sith. There were other paths, other ways of thought. Where passion was endearing and anger was only one of many ways of gaining strength.”

 

Ben grimaced.

 

“Isn’t anger the way of the Sith, though?”

 

“The Sith weren’t the only ones who viewed emotions as a gift rather than a curse.”

 

Ben could count the amount of times he’s met his uncle, Luke Skywalker, on one hand. His uncle always talked Ben up about his force sensitivity, looking at him with rose colored glasses as a potential as one of his first students once he got his Jedi Academy up and running. He talked about the terrors of the Darkside and the Sith and the greatness of the Lightside and the Jedi, but Luke never told him about medium choices. Ben kind of liked the idea of medium choices.

 

“Why do you know so much about ways of thought for force sensitive groups?” said Ben, feeling more curious than he’d like to be.

 

“If I tell you, you’ll have to keep a secret.”

 

The lights began to dim as the holograms flittered on and off. Ben wondered if he should seriously be talking to some weird old man with ideas of better ways to use the force. It shouldn’t hurt for him to just see what the old man knows, though…right? Ben nodded.

 

“You see,” the old man whispered into his ear, “I’m force sensitive myself. And I…I know a better way.”

 

The man slipped a card into Ben’s hand before he stood up.

 

“I’ll be waiting for your call.”

 

Ben turned but the man was gone. And the battle had begun.


	15. Ben Solo Refuses to Hear About Your Crush!

Ben Solo knew Mon Mothma Public High School better than anyone else. Mostly due to convenience’s sake, but that wasn’t quite the point. Ben could not wrap his mind around the fact that despite knowing all possible exits and hidden escape routes, his mortal enemy, the fox himself, Poe Dameron was still able to corner him and force him to hear about his stupid gooey _feelings_.

 

“He’s just so beautiful,” said Poe, his voice dripping in obnoxious and unpalatable affection, “He’s so exactly my height and doe-eyed and _too precious for this galaxy_! It feels like I’m staring into an infinite abyss of love when I gaze into his eyes!”

 

Ben squirmed in Poe’s grip.

 

“I’m not some full body pillow!” Ben could barely say through Poe’s boa constrictor grip.

 

Poe just kept rubbing his cheek onto Ben’s chest.

 

“And his voice is so kind and he’s such a good pilot and one day I want to fly doubles with him—do you think that could happen?”

 

Ben couldn’t breathe. Poe gasped, lamenting what should have been obvious beforehand.

 

“But he’s of Tarkin Prep, our greatest enemies! Oh, Benny, we’re literally star-crossed lovers! What will my teammates think of me, falling in love with _pure evil_? How scandalous of me!”

 

“C-ca…n’t…bre…bre…a…the…”

 

“Can you stop killing Gloomy Guy?” asked Kaydel, tilting recklessly in her desk chair, “Besides you’ve already announced your love for this guy like a hundred times in public. We know already.”

 

Ben felt his back crack.

 

“The horror that would ensue when both sides know of our love will be one of system ruining. The levels of fleets fleeing for Helen’s gripped hand on another other than her husband. We would make the worlds around us desolate, unlivable in such a conflict.”

 

“No one cares,” Lorica groaned.

 

“Yeah. I only care about Luke Skywalker,” said Jess, raising her hand.

 

“Just go talk to him or something, man. Seriously. I hate Prince of Darkness over there, but even _I_ feel bad for him right now,” said Ello.

 

Poe finally released his grip on Ben. Ben’s vision felt spotty, but he was glad he could breathe again.

 

“You’re right! I _must_ profess my feelings! Even if worlds end, it is only destiny that we met on the battlefield. And enemies in battle doesn’t mean you can’t be lovers off the field!”

 

Ben collapsed into his chair. There was a growing sense of anger in him about all this melodrama, but it was hard to funnel his energy into anger when he felt as if his back was broken and he was still catching his breathe.

 

“Do…Do you even know…know where…Tarkin Prep is?”

 

“Pshh, I know where…uh…Snap, do you know where Tarkin Prep is?”

 

Snap shook his head.

 

“I don’t want to know where that place is. What if my aunts noticed I researched the place and got the wrong idea? No way am I going to military school, no matter how cool being a rebel made my mom.”

 

Ben, still recovering, turned his attention to Poe’s face. He could see a terrible realization falling upon him. Ben wasn’t sure if he liked this or hated it. Pain on Poe’s face made him feel weird. The fox trying to catch such an unsuspecting rabbit wasn’t something Ben wanted either, for the rabbit’s sake.

 

“Greer! You know things! You know where Tarkin Prep is?”

 

Greer shrugged.

 

“Isn’t it like ten systems away from us or something?”

 

Ben had never seen a deeper frown on a person before. It was almost comical how much it drooped.

 

“ _Ten systems away_? How is it in our region???”

 

“Blame gerrymandering, man. I didn’t make the lines for the New Republic regions,” grumbled Greer.

 

Poe grew teary-eyed.

 

“This…this is okay…I’ll just never see him again…that’s totally cool…I’m completely fine with that…”

 

Poe’s voice became more and more wobbly, his eyes more watery. Ben narrowed his eyes. Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. And this pissed him off more than anything Poe had done before. Poe crying always enraged him, but this felt slightly different.

 

“Stop crying, you brat!” hissed Ben, jumping out of his chair and flipping his desk, “We’re all here for your stupid whiny baby moods! Don’t act like we don’t fragging count!”

 

Ben roared in frustration, flipping other people’s desks.

 

“Just because the guy lives far away doesn’t mean you can’t see him or anything either, you doofus! We have the _internet_ , for the force’s sake! We have light speed travel! How are you so set on making this not work?” growled Ben.

 

Ben wasn’t sure if Poe was still teary, but it felt good messing up the classroom, so he kept flipping desks.

 

“I mean, don’t _I_ matter in all this stupidness? You _broke my back_! I listened to your dumb groveling! _What more do you want_?”

 

Ben ran out of desks to flip but still felt like ruining things. He breathed heavily as he stood a desk up just to flip it back down again.

 

“This is so dumb! You’re so dumb! Go see your Prince Charming over the stupid weekend! _It’s so easy to get cheap public transportation to different systems_!”

 

Ben still felt angry, but he felt like it wasn’t as dramatic to stand desks up just to topple them down.

 

“ _Ugh_ , just leave me out of your stupid problems! I don’t want to have to pretend to care for your gross feelings!” Ben growled, breathing even heavier.

 

After a few minutes, he actually cared to see how his friends were doing during his tantrum. They were all wide-eyed, like Ben was the weirdo in this situation.

 

“Y-you know…I think I’m good. I’ll just see him next regionals and see if these feelings are true then,” mumbled Poe.

 

Ben couldn’t stop his eye from twitching.


	16. Ben Solo Doesn’t Care if Poe Dameron’s Good at Everything!

Ben Solo barely remembered when he first met Poe Dameron. It was at a preschool and Ben had been playing alone with some blocks in a corner, not allowed to play outside due to potential assassination threats. Poe had walked up to him and asked him why he was always playing alone inside and Ben had told him exactly why. Thus began the mortal struggle between the true and virtuous Ben Solo and the slick fox Poe Dameron.

 

Ever since that faithful day, Ben felt like he couldn’t beat Poe at anything. Sure, Ben’s grades had always been better, but no one in their classes cared that he was the brain supreme amongst them all. Poe was good at sports. Poe was good at schmoozing with people. Poe was likeable and loveable and everyone wanted to be his friend. That’s why Ben couldn’t possibly be friends with Poe Dameron. It’d make no sense. It wasn’t logical. And, thus, Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron.

 

“You got your notebook out again, Benny?” asked Poe, placing his head on Ben’s desk, “Will you ever show me what’s in there?”

 

Ben grinned.

 

“You might just see it yet!” Ben said, though, pulled the notebook away from Poe as he reached for it.

 

“So? You gonna show it to me now?” asked Poe, even more excited than he usually was.

 

“You’ll see in class today,” snickered Ben, his snickers becoming a full-on laugh of doom and destruction.

 

Ben Solo didn’t tell many people about his passions. Maybe because he didn’t have many passions. One was hating Poe Dameron. Another was poetry. He was a man of deep and complex emotion under his cool demeanor—at least, that’s what he thought. In his own opinion, he was a word savant. And when their English teacher announced a creative writing section that had a poetry subsection, well, Ben couldn’t help but be excited. He was going to beat Poe Dameron at one cool thing.

 

Poe pouted.

 

“But I want to see it noooow,” whined Poe, grasping half-heartedly for the notebook.

 

Ben quickly shoved the notebook into his backpack.

 

“Just be patient, idiot! You’ll see it soon enough!” growled Ben.

 

“You’re never any fun,” lamented Poe.

 

“Then leave me alone, already!” hissed Ben.

 

Ben felt the vein in his head popping out. He felt a strong urge to break everything around him. How could that happen? How could people like _Poe Dameron_ ’s stupid poem about bunnies more than his more sophisticated, complex poem about the darkness in the inner soul of his being which used grand metaphors and was built upon the idea of a man trapped in a box sinking in the ocean with no escape, air leaving him and life slipping into impossible chances?

 

 _How could people be so stupid_?

 

The roaring chorus of cheers ended the class with Poe’s poem. Poe grinned at Ben as the last bell rang. Ben couldn’t believe Poe even had the _audacity_ to walk over with that goofy smile on his stupid face. How could someone be so _smug_?

 

“So you like poetry? I didn’t know! I heard they do these poetry slams at—”

 

Ben threw a shoe at Poe.

 

“ _No_!” Ben growled, kicking several chairs to the ground with a touch of melodrama, “ _You don’t get to be good at poetry too_!”

 

Ben roared, walking away from the classroom with only one shoe. He stormed the hallways, using the force to smack people’s faces with their locker doors, whacking people’s books and papers out of their hands, shoving people who weren’t even in his way out of his way.

 

“B-Benny? Benny, it was just a _poem_ —”

 

Ben threw his other shoe at Poe.

 

“ _Shut up you gooey hothead_!” screeched Ben with a fiery passion, “Poetry is _my thing—my thing_!”

 

Ben willed a desk into the hallway just to flip it in front of Poe.

 

“ _You_. _You keep your distance_!” growled Ben, pointing at Poe.

 

Ben stomped away shoeless, slightly regretting the fact that he’s making his socks dirty, but really not caring about it too much at that moment.

 

“Benny—Benny, stop this.”

 

Poe grabbed Ben’s wrist, not letting him go despite Ben’s squirming. Ben hated that his vision was foggy. He hated how watery his stupid eyes felt. Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron.

 

“Benny…”

 

Ben turned to the blurred vision of Poe.

 

“Poetry was _my thing_. Why’d you have to go and be better at me at _that_? Why does everyone like everything you do so much and get all confused whenever I show them my work?”

 

Poe’s grip relaxed. Ben wiped his totally not crying eyes.

 

“It’s not _fair_ , okay? Golden child like you being good at all these things? I thought I was good at something people might’ve actually cared about.”

 

Poe laughed nervously.

 

“No one really cares about poetry that much.”

 

“I care about poetry that much!” Ben said, pointing to himself, “I do, but no one even _got_ my poem.”

 

Poe pulled Ben out of the very public hallway into an empty classroom.

 

“That’s because your poem was actually _poetry_. It sounded like the kind of stuff we’d read in an assigned book. None of them wanted to deal with how layered your poem was. They didn’t get it because they’re stupid. Hell, I barely got it because _I’m_ stupid about these kinds of things.”

 

Poe sat Ben down and hugged his head to his chest. It was a weird feeling. Maybe seeing nothing calmed him down. Maybe it was the heartbeat. Ben didn’t like it, but it helped? Ben didn’t get it, but he didn’t feel like picking his brain about it at the moment.

 

“Your problem wasn’t your poetry. It was the crowd…you okay now?”

 

Ben sniffled despite his best efforts. He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t getting over just crying. Because Poe Dameron couldn’t make him feel things. Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron. And that was all there was to it.

 

“Like you care,” mumbled Ben to Poe’s chest.

 

Poe laughed.

 

“Seriously? Benny, I wouldn’t be putting this much effort into anything if I didn’t care. Don’t be so self-deprecating.”

 

Ben wouldn’t admit to smiling at that moment.

 

“Do you even know what self-deprecating means?”

 

“Hey! I know some words. I’m not as dumb as my grades attest.”

 

They stayed there for a while.


	17. Ben Solo Doesn’t Care If You Act Out Of Character!

There was a routine that Ben Solo had come accustomed to throughout the second year of his schooling at Mon Mothma Public High School. The beginning of said routine was the crafty fox rushing his desk every morning to scuttlebutt, no matter how much Ben told Poe that he didn’t care about gossip.

 

It came as a surprise that when Ben walked into the classroom and sat at his desk, Poe stayed at his. Ben stared at the back of Poe’s head for ten minutes, wondering when Poe would notice his presence and start blabbing about whatever he heard about through the grapevine. Another five minutes passed and Poe still stayed there, staring at the whiteboard. He wasn’t even talking to friends, like he usually was whenever Ben walked into the classroom.

 

“Uh, Gloomy Guy…you okay?”

 

Ben blinked. He turned to Kaydel. He didn’t understand why she had a worried look on her face.

 

“ _Sorry_ I have a resting sad face,” hissed Ben.

 

Kaydel shook her head quickly.

 

“No, not that, I get that. It’s just—you’ve been staring at the back of Poe’s head for like thirty minutes. Class already started. Have you even been taking notes?”

 

Ben’s face flushed as he started taking notes in a flurry, embarrassed that he hadn’t started, that he didn’t notice that class had begun.

 

“Don’t talk to me when class has started,” whispered Ben angrily, trying desperately to catch up just in time to not lose any information.

 

Kaydel raised her hands in surrender.

 

During the morning break, Ben Solo noticed that his mortal enemy hadn’t moved from his desk like he usually does. He usually bought something from the booster club and forced half of the snack onto Ben, telling him he looked “too skinny for his own good”. He then had his trio of buddies glomp around him as he leaned on Ben’s desk without even asking Ben if it was fine to place his butt on his desk.

 

But all Poe was doing was resting his head on his desk. Ben grimaced. He didn’t like this weird feeling. Why was it bothering him so much? Ben Solo could have sworn he hated Poe Dameron.

 

“Is Poe okay?” Lorica asked Ben, hopping onto his desk, “I tried to ask him if he did his history homework and he didn’t respond at all.”

 

Ben pushed Lorica off his desk.

 

“Don’t look at me,” Ben said, standing up, “I’m not Poe’s keeper or anything.”

 

“You’re his best friend, though, right?” Lorica countered, “You should try talking to him. Maybe he’ll respond.”

 

Ben didn’t want to admit anything to anyone. He wasn’t much of an admitter, even to himself. He didn’t want to be associated with that fox. But his body squirmed uncomfortably at the very un-Poe-like actions of stupid Poe Dameron. Ben crossed his arms.

 

“I’m not gonna do any better,” grumbled Ben as he walked over to Poe’s desk.

 

Ben froze. Poe was…frowning? His eyes were filled with something…unhappy? A depression of sorts? He almost looked dead, the life drained from him, some sort of comatose form of a shell of himself. He lay on his arm staring into nothingness.

 

Something broke in Ben.

 

Ben would do anything to stop whatever was happening.

 

Ben slapped his face with both of his hands. He breathed in. He breathed out.

 

By those who remembered the day, it was said that it was the strangest, most impressive personality switch they’d ever seen. Poe, a man of sunshine and pure happiness, had turned to a cloud of darkness. As if to counteract the strangety which befell on the happiest man in class, the gloomiest became a ray of hope.

 

Pride be damned, Ben sucked everything up and became…charming…and energetic…and positive in every way.

 

With a radiant smile, Ben bent down to Poe’s level and gazed at Poe.

 

“Hey, Poe! Wanna get a snack with me? Let’s get our snack on, come on!” Ben said, grabbing Poe’s hands and pulling him up.

 

Ben held Poe’s hand as he walked him through the hallways, all smiles. There were many passerby that day who felt as if his smile was pure light, that, even for a moment, their hearts skipped a beat as Ben Solo greeted them as if it was normal. If they were someone Poe would usually talk to, Ben made a point to say hello for Poe.

 

He chatted up the mothers at the booster club like Poe usually would. He got something sweet, like Poe liked, and split it, just like Poe did. Many of those mothers felt as if they were in an alternate universe for a moment. In a daze, they even questioned whether Poe or Ben was usually the one who casually flirted with them.

 

“Look!” Ben said almost desperately, “Cream horn with raspberry chocolate filling! Your favorite! Let’s eat!”

 

Ben sat Poe at his own desk. Ben waved the cream horn near Poe’s face with no response.

 

“It’s not poisoned or anything, I swear!” Ben said, taking the first bite, “See? Let’s share it! Come on! You always want to do this.”

 

Poe, while mostly unresponsive, did slightly nibble at the cream horn. Those who saw the sight were almost aghast at how Ben, who’d been so against sharing food like some lovey dovey couple, had broken down without a hint of shame and done something they never thought he’d do. Something about the charm he exuded even made some of the students around him _jealous_ that he was sharing the cream horn with Poe, much to their own conflicting feelings about being jealous about _Poe’s closeness to Ben Solo_ of all people.

 

“Now, today in class, I need everyone to split into groups of two—”

 

“ _We’re a group_!”

 

No one knew how Ben was able to run from the back of the room where his desk was to all the way in the front where Poe sat, but Ben was there, holding Poe’s arm up and breathing like he ran a marathon.

 

What confused the class more that day was that he was still smiling with an enchantment that seemed to make the whole class’ hearts flip in their chests. People were almost terrified of every time Ben’s dazzling face turned their direction, fearing they would actually begin to _feel_ things for _Ben Solo_. Worried that Ben could become impossibly popular, against all expectations of everyone, even Ben himself.

 

Every, “Don’t worry, let me get that graduated cylinder for you” and “You’re so silly! Stop pouring that acid, it’s going to pour over” and “Ooh, look, it’s bubbling! Don’t you just love science?” felt blinding to all apparently besides the Ben and Poe themselves. Poe, who had seemed on autopilot without this blazing man around, barely showed anything with this impressive use of stored up charm.

 

As the last bell rang, Ben stood up gallantly, and for a moment, his classmates could have sworn he was like the prince he could have become if his mother’s planet didn’t explode.

 

“Time for after school fun things!”

 

Ben moved with more grace than any of them had ever seen of anyone as he helped Poe to his feet. The class was awestruck at how bizarrely attractive Ben’s walk had suddenly become and none of them felt exactly comfortable talking about it, even years later.

 

“You always go on about doing stuff after class! You like fun, right? I think you like fun. I remember you liking fun.”

 

Ben encircled his arm around the dead fish of an arm Poe’s was at the time, guiding him smoothly through the class.

 

“What are fun things? You were always asking about going to a cantina, I think? The bookstore? You love going to the simulator when you’ve got time to spare, right? Is there anything you’d rather do?”

 

Poe seemed unresponsive to most, and in that, he was. But Ben seemed to want to do anything to get Poe respond. It was a strange sight to those who witnessed it, really. Especially when Ben clasped Poe’s hands.

 

“I think there’s a place with milkshakes up the road. Let’s do that. I’m sure I can sneak us out without all your friends following us,” Ben said with a wink.

 

And like that, Ben ran through the halls with Poe, faster than anyone had seen Ben run before. Poe lagged behind him, still a mess, but Ben’s smiling face seemed to radiate all around him, making the students, and even some teachers, feel things that they’d never thought they’d feel for Ben Solo. It was all very confusing and adorable and no one knew what to do.

 

Ben Solo had rarely used the secrets he knew about Mon Mothma Public High School in order to escape without his mother or bodyguards knowing. He had used the information once, and that was the day Poe had become too sick to come to school. And there he was again, sticking his neck out for this weird person, this fox of his, this Poe Dameron, who he shouldn’t even _care_ about since Ben Solo hated Poe Dameron, but he had to admit he did. No one went to these sorts of lengths to help someone who they didn’t feel _something_ for.

 

“…wait…”

 

Ben froze. He felt whiplash as he turned his head to Poe. Poe glanced up at him sheepishly.

 

“…let’s…sit on the hill…”

 

Ben kept grinning at Poe.

 

“Let’s, then!”

 

Slowly, Ben walked Poe over to the hills he liked near the field. Ben laid Poe down and sat next to him. Ben knew that Poe liked to gaze at the sky. So he gazed at the sky, trying to understand what Poe liked about it.

 

“You talk about distant galaxies a lot,” Ben said to Poe, “I’m kind of jealous of that. I wish I could have big dreams like that. Dreams that reach different systems. It’s amazing. The way you talk about it makes me believe you’ll make all those dreams come true.”

 

Poe was still unusually silent, but…he wasn’t acting like a doll Ben could move around at will anymore. It bothered Ben that he looked so dower, so depressingly alone.

 

Ben smushed his face, turning it to face Ben. Ben Solo had to hate Poe Dameron. It was the only way Ben knew how to live with the man. Their faces were only inches away from each other. Ben Solo had to remind himself that he hated Poe Dameron. Ben’s princely smile was not there. He was just Ben. He was grimacing at Poe.

 

“Seriously, what’s wrong? I tried to cheer you up all day. Do you know how much work that was?”

 

Poe smiled, but it wasn’t the usually one. It felt apologetic.

 

“I understand that, silly,” Poe said, “I…I’d usually be over the moon, but it’s…”

 

Ben didn’t understand a frowning Poe face. It didn’t make any sense. He didn’t want that.

 

“…they haven’t heard back from my dad in six months…”

 

Ben didn’t understand the water welling up near Poe’s eyes. Poe Dameron shouldn’t be _crying_. Poe Dameron should never be _crying_. It was the antithesis of who Poe was, unless, of course, he was crying for joy, which he obviously _wasn’t_ right then.

 

“…they don’t think he’s dead or anything… _yet_ , anyways, but…”

 

Ben’s hands felt so damp. Why so many tears?

 

“…you never know this these things…going to places in need, helping as a surgeon…who knows what happens when something dangerous appears…”

 

Ben didn’t know what to do. Ben’s eyes were tearing up.

 

“Don’t be stupid, your d-dad wouldn’t leave you behind,” Ben said, garbly through snot and wet, “Your dad loves you so much.”

 

“It doesn’t matter how much a parent loves you, you know? They can still d-d-die…l-like mom…”

 

Before Ben could think, he brought Poe’s head to his chest, hugging it.

 

In Mon Mothma Public High School, not many people traveled to the hills on the edges of the fields. However, those who walked near there that day glimpsed a rare sight. Ben Solo being nice to Poe Dameron.


	18. Ben Solo Doesn’t Want to Leave!

Ben Solo rarely saw his parents. He’d see his mother every four months or so. He’d see his father every few years, if he were lucky. Heck, he saw his uncle even less than his father, and that was saying something. That’s why Ben Solo was completely caught off guard when he walked down stairs to see both his mother and father sitting at the kitchen table with his Uncle Luke. A trio Ben thought he’d never see together, let alone, waiting for him to wake up.

 

Ben froze. He could not compute.

 

“…Hey, Ben,” Han said through a cough, “It’s…been a while, hasn’t it?”

 

Han Solo was a man of mystery and trickery, even to people who were supposed to be close to him. He seemed awkward near his son. He knew that he shouldn’t have had a child; Ben could see that in his eyes. He could see it in his mother’s eyes. He could see it in his own uncle’s eyes. He was a child that never made sense. And it pissed him off that these stupid adults couldn’t hide that fact from him.

 

“What? Need a place to hide until the coast is clear?” asked Ben, opening the refrigerator and grabbing a carton of juice, “Oh wait, you wouldn’t come here for that! You never think about coming here.”

 

Han Solo couldn’t make eye contact with Ben.

 

“I live a very dangerous life, Ben, you wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t. You never give me a chance to,” Ben said, pouring juice into a cup, “What I find super weird is the fact that you had a legitimate military job and you chose to go back to smuggling. Now _that_ …that’s something I really don’t get at all. I’m pretty sure Mother doesn’t get it either.”

 

Leia flinched. Ben watched the two squirm as he drank some of his juice, putting the carton back in the fridge.

 

“W-we’re not here to discuss your father, Ben,” said Leia, “We’re here to talk about _you_.”

 

Ben laughed so hard that juice splurted out of his nose.

 

“What is this? Did you all decide you’d take your day a year to care about me all at once? Does that make that easier for me or for you? Really, guys, if you’re going to coordinate things like this, at least loop me into that chain email. I’d _love_ to see how you come to these conclusions.”

 

“Ben, it has come to our attention that you’ve been misbehaving in school recently,” Luke said, “Destroying school property, causing ruckus, acting out in general—we’re worried about you.”

 

Ben put the glass down, the glass breaking on impact. Ben felt skeptic, looking between the three. His mother began to stand up, but Ben stopped her with a hand. He left the glass as is.

 

“You can’t be serious. _Now_ you’re worried? A bounty hunter almost killed me and _none of you came_. I ran away from home after Shara Bey died and _none of you came_. My best friend almost died and I was a complete mess and _none of you came_.”

 

Ben laughed.

 

“What? So the only time I get attention is when I bruise a few _floors_ at school? Some good old _property damage_? You should have told me earlier, I would have started breaking things _years ago_!”

 

The whole room shook. He could sense their tension. They had the audacity to fear him. And maybe they should fear him. It wasn’t like they’ve done much to make him feel bad if they got injured in their talk.

 

“I can see that you’re having problems with your abilities,” said Luke, standing up, “The force runs strong in our family. I understand what it’s like to be force sensitive. I’ve finally finished my school. All the construction is complete. You can come with me, train, learn how to control your abilities.”

 

Ben stopped laughing.

 

“You can’t take me out of school right now. It’s almost the end of the year, finals are right around the corner.”

 

Han pointed his finger at Ben.

 

“If you keep acting out like this, Mister, you won’t—”

 

“And who are you to tell _me_ what to do!? You don’t get to be my dad whenever it suits you, whenever you think you can get the chance to lock me away forever in some temple!”

 

Leia stood up.

 

“ _You do not talk to your father like that_!”

 

“I would never talk to my father like that. That man…”

 

Ben’s finger felt like a knife severing ties.

 

“…That man has _never_ been a father to me.”

 

“Well, tough luck. I _am_ your father and what _I_ say goes.”

 

Ben stewed with rage. He couldn’t do anything. He felt like he could do nothing.

 

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?” spat Ben, “Before you _ruined_ my Saturday, I was actually going to do something.”

 

“Like what? Go to the library again. _Alone_?” scoffed Leia.

 

“I go there because it’s one of the _only_ places with enough security to be alone without supervision, supervision that _you_ force on me, by the way,” Ben shouted, “And besides, that’s not where I’m going. An idiot I know wants me to see him _practice_.”

 

“Practice? Practice what? Where are you going?” asked Han.

 

Ben heard the doorbell.

 

“Just the kid Mother loves more than me, that’s who. Now, if you excuse me, I have a date with the most popular man in school.”

 

“Date? What?” Han said, turning to Leia, “Has he been dating _men_?”

 

Ben wasn’t in the mood for correcting anyone. He just wanted out. He opened to the door, quickly running out and slamming it as he went.

 

“Wait, Benny, what’s happen—”

 

“ _Ugh_. You’re taking too long, Poe!” Ben said, running back to Poe and grabbing his hand, “We gotta get out of here!”

 

Ben hopped into shotgun of Poe’s land cruiser, quickly buckling himself in.

 

“Get in! Drive! Anywhere, just go!”

 

“Um—okay, just a—there we go,” Poe said, quickly backing out of the driveway, “Wait, is that your parents? And you uncle?”

 

“ _Drive_. _Please_.”

 

Poe slightly speeded away from the scene, glancing in the review mirror at times, seeing Ben’s family become ants. They drove in silence. Ben found the waves of grass so calming.

 

“…That was a weird scene,” said Poe, “Those three together again? I thought the world was exploding or something.”

 

Ben slumped into his seat.

 

“I think the last time I saw them all together like that was my third birthday,” mumbled Ben, “They argued the whole day. It was terrible. My dad was disappointed that I had no friends, my mom tried to defend me weakly, my uncle said he should take me in if I’d really been showing signs of increased force sensitivity…it was _terrible_ …”

 

Ben kept looking out at the fields they passed.

 

“The only thing good was when you came. You were the _only_ one who came, and your mom took pity on me and took me and you to that carnival on the peer…”

 

Poe stopped at a red light. Ben missed the breeze of movement. It felt nice on his face.

 

“…so, where do you want to go, Benny?”

 

Ben closed his eyes.

 

“Anywhere,” said Ben, “Just not my house.”

 

The car began to move again.

 

“I remember that day vaguely, you know?” said Poe, going the opposite direction of the school, “I remember holding my mom’s hand, excitedly talking about how my best friend was having a birthday party. I was carrying this stuffed rancor that I saw at the store and thought would be perfect for you.”

 

Dunes of sand emerged, the ocean on the horizon line.

 

“When we got there, I was so sad. I just wanted you to have a fun birthday. I was so shocked. I didn’t understand all the yelling. I think my mom was uncomfortable with the whole thing as well. I was glad that she took us out.”

 

Ben slumped onto Poe. Poe’s shoulder felt warm on his face.

 

“Where are you taking me, Poe Dameron?” Ben whispered.

 

“I don’t know. I just…I thought driving would be nice.”

 

Ben stood on a dock, gazing at the beach. Ben laughed.

 

“You know I hate beaches, right?” said Ben.

 

Poe nodded.

 

“It’s why this will be the last place they’d look for you.”

 

Ben sat down and hugged his legs. He didn’t want to know Poe’s reaction to his news.

 

“They want to send me away.”

 

There was a terribly pregnant pause.

 

“…what does that mean, Benny?”

 

Anger pulsed through him, the dock shaking with his rage.

 

“They think I’m dangerous. They came together _again_ not because they loved me but because they were worried about everyone else. They want to lock me up in some temple forever. I know Uncle Luke would say it’s temporary, but that’s a lie, I can see it in his _eyes_.”

 

Poe wrapped his arms around Ben, rubbing his back. It felt so nice. They watched the low tide turn to high.

 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Benny, but…maybe you should go with your uncle?”

 

Ben pushed Poe away with the force. Ben’s eyes widened. He held his head. Ben’s whole body shook.

 

“I—I didn’t—are you okay?”

 

Poe nodded, smiling.

 

“I’m good. I’m more worried about you.”

 

Poe found his way back to Ben.

 

“Benny, if I could help you with whatever’s happening, I would, but…I’m not force sensitive. You need someone who knows what their doing. I want you to be able to deal with all of this.”

 

Ben felt the tears. There was no one there he felt embarrassed to cry near. Ben was fine crying with his best friend.

 

“They’re going to lock me away forever, Poe, I just know it. They hate me, they’ve _always_ hated me.”

 

Poe hugged Ben again.

 

“Let them try. I’ll break you out if they do such a thing.”

 

“I’m…scared of myself…”

 

Ben felt so fragile. He felt like he was breaking.

 

“…I feel like I could lose myself in this sort of power…I never asked for any of this…”

 

“You won’t. I believe in you. Things will get better after you understand how to manage all of this. And if you ever need me, I’m around. I’ll become the ace pilot of the military. I’ll be the best one out there. Then no one will be able to brush me off if I ask how you’re doing. We’ll both do fine.”

 

“I’m s-sorry we’re not going to New Republic U t-t-together,” Ben said through heaves and tears, “I-I know you wanted to go togeth-ther.”

 

Poe shook his head.

 

“It’s fine. It’s totally fine. I’m glad we were just able to reconnect this year. I _missed_ you.”

 

“You’re the best friend I ever had, Poe.”

 

“Me too.”

 

When the sun began to set, they stopped hugging. They walked back to the land cruiser. They drove back to Ben’s home. Because they both knew that it was for the best. And Poe Dameron loved Ben Solo.

 

END.


End file.
